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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

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In Latest Slight To Boston, Brady Announces He’s Now Starting Goalie For The Penguins

January 26, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Who could have seen that coming?! … [Read more...] about In Latest Slight To Boston, Brady Announces He’s Now Starting Goalie For The Penguins

MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys

January 24, 2021 by Malt Schlitzman

BOSTON—Tragedy has struck as an entire team of Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority workers were eaten alive after stumbling upon the underground nest of the band Dropkick Murphys. “We were lured into the lair by a faint sound of punk rock music. I’m pretty sure it was ‘Johnny I Hardly New Ya,’” recalled the lone survivor of the massacre. “The beat just kept … [Read more...] about MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys

Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont

January 21, 2021 by The Boston Accent

When his grandson tried calling to explain the meme over the phone, Sanders accidentally hung up repeatedly because his now-iconic mittens pressed like every button. … [Read more...] about Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont

Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together

January 19, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“Skiing is absolutely worth the cost, it’s a blast! Plus, we can wear helmets and masks, so it’s totally safe,” said your friend, who already owns all the equipment you have to rent and has a fully-loaded HSA. … [Read more...] about Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together

Opinion: If Bugs Bunny Is From Brooklyn, Then We Demand A Looney Tune From Everett

January 17, 2021 by Brett McCabe

Bugs Bunny is a cartoon rabbit living in the woods that speaks with a Brooklyn accent. That’s fine and I have no questions about that at all. But in a world that clamors for representation in media, I think it’s about time we have an anthropomorphized animal cartoon that sounds like it’s from Everett, Massachusetts. Maybe he could be, like, a little Capybara in a puffy … [Read more...] about Opinion: If Bugs Bunny Is From Brooklyn, Then We Demand A Looney Tune From Everett

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Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

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