BOSTON — In a surprise discovery released on Friday, a team of Harvard scientists have revealed that the iconic Boston Cream, of cake and donut fame, is actually not cream at all. Rather, the white, sweet mousse is comprised entirely of fermented foam skimmed from the polluted Boston Harbor. Who knew?! “We found that every sample we collected, which came from 109 Dunkin’ … [Read more...] about Scientists Discover Boston Cream Actually Just Polluted Sea Foam From Harbor
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City Of Boston Announces October 5 Will Be Celebrated Annually As Gerrit Cole Day
In a jubilant ceremony held on the Common, the City of Boston formally announced that October 5, the day the Sox won the AL EAst wildcard game, will hence force be celebrated as Gerrit Cole Day. “We are thrilled to honor our favorite Yankee of all time, Garrit Cole, for decades to come!” announced Mayor Kim Janey. “His unmatched ability to burn through our rival team’s … [Read more...] about City Of Boston Announces October 5 Will Be Celebrated Annually As Gerrit Cole Day
‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Chiming in almost instantaneously the moment the conversation turned to music, local late twenty-something Todd Goodwin confirmed that he did a cappella in college and, yes, would love to dive deeper into that topic. “Yeah, I was in the Tufts Beelzebubs — or the ‘Bubs,’ as we called it,” reported Goodwin to a crowd of completely uninterested acquaintances. … [Read more...] about ‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It
Patriots Dreading Visit From Grandpa Who Retired To Florida
As the Patriots gear up to face the Buccaneers today, former teammates and colleagues of Tom Brady–moved to Florida to settle down in the sun–are resenting his return. “Of course the old snow bird is coming up for the last nice weekend of the season,” said Patriots Linebacker Dont’a Hightower. “Watch, I bet we won’t hear from him again the entire winter.” After 18 years … [Read more...] about Patriots Dreading Visit From Grandpa Who Retired To Florida
BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now
Taking advantage of the first lull in traffic on Mass Ave in 5 minutes, Boston resident Dale Benoit decided just now he is going to cross the street, right this very second. “Fuck it, I’m going,” Benoit reportedly muttered as he power walked between a hybrid Rav 4 and a Prius, seemingly without warning. “I got places to be too.” At press time, the Prius driver was heard … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now