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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

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Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

April 29, 2021 by Lauren Levine

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After earning his second impeachment, President Trump is now just one away from the final third punch on his Presidential Preferred Customer Card, granting him one medium-sized frozen yogurt of his choice. “Everybody said this was a deed that couldn’t be done. Too complicated. Too big. Couldn’t be done. Well, guess what? I’ve punched more holes than ANBODY … [Read more...] about Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

As Expected: New England Wins Yet Another Competition

April 26, 2021 by The Boston Accent

We really are the BEST at everything, huh? Surprised New Hampshire made the cut though. Maybe we need to ask for a recount… … [Read more...] about As Expected: New England Wins Yet Another Competition

Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions

April 11, 2021 by The Boston Accent

This time last year, Bobby Sullivan didn’t know a lick of code, calmness, or Buddhist dharma teachings. He didn’t know much of anything, for that matter. Before last month, his most reliable source of stress relief was cursing out Yankees fans after drunken nights in Fenway.  But after punching countless holes in his condo’s drywall during the stressful pandemic … [Read more...] about Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions

Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

April 6, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Medfield dad Douglas Stephens has been overcome by waves of nostalgia while watching his favorite Boston sports teams underperform, just as they did during the formative years of his life. “It’s just like my teenage years in the early 90s—I still fondly remember punching my TV,” reflected Stephens, wiping away a single tear as he turned off the most recent Red Sox … [Read more...] about Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

Cape Cod Resident Surprised To Hear Shrimp Tails Aren’t Commonly Found In All Breakfast Cereals

March 27, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“In Harwich, we eat our oats with roe and use crab legs as spoons. I thought everyone ate seafood parts in every meal?” … [Read more...] about Cape Cod Resident Surprised To Hear Shrimp Tails Aren’t Commonly Found In All Breakfast Cereals

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