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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

March 11, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

“FanDuel was running all these new promos this week to celebrate Massachusetts legalizing sports betting. They were too good to pass up!” explained the Governor, visibly ashamed and shaking.

“Next this I knew, I’d blown hundreds of millions on a 10 leg Red Sox parlay bet. All UMass schools are hereby closed indefinitely until I win it all back on Australian horse racing at 3AM tonight.”

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Filed Under: Sports Tagged With: Local, Massachusetts, sports betting

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