While on vacation in Wellfleet, the Ferreiras—a mixed politics family—have managed to stay convivial despite recent events exclusively because of the gorgeous hydrangeas. “The colors are just absolutely marvelous this year!” remarked 60-year-old Marie, who never really believed Biden was elected President. “It feels like they bloomed so much more vibrantly … [Read more...] about Hydrangeas Holding Family Vacation Together By A Goddamn Thread
Massachusetts
All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay
“FanDuel was running all these new promos this week to celebrate Massachusetts legalizing sports betting. They were too good to pass up!” explained the Governor, visibly ashamed and shaking. “Next this I knew, I’d blown hundreds of millions on a 10 leg Red Sox parlay bet. All UMass schools are hereby closed indefinitely until I win it all back on Australian horse racing at … [Read more...] about All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay
Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts
Move over, city of champions: Massachusetts has a new title to celebrate and for once it has nothing to do with Boston. Worcester was recently declared the “is Pepsi okay” city of The Bay State! The competition for the title was fierce, and the accolade almost ended up going to Springfield. Ultimately, Worcester secured its status as the … [Read more...] about Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts
Santa Reminds Mass Residents That “Less Traffic On 95” Is Not A Realistic Gift
BRAINTREE, MA — We caught up with the big man himself, Santa Claus, who gave us a rundown of the most popular gift requests in the Bay State. Near the top of the list were expected requests, like Playstation 5’s, iPhone 13’s, and a real point guard for the Celtics. But what topped that list this year? Something Father Christmas sadly wants to remind residents he can’t actually … [Read more...] about Santa Reminds Mass Residents That “Less Traffic On 95” Is Not A Realistic Gift
Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal
“I actually started the winter parking hunt on Halloween by seeing which neighbors give out what,” explained Fred Ferreiro of Fall River. “The full size candy bar givers are people that will dig out a spot, but they’ll also call the cops. I was on the lookout for people that gave out handfuls because they’re responsible enough to be stocked up but also pushovers.” … [Read more...] about Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal