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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

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Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

March 15, 2023 by The Boston Accent 2 Comments

A Dorchester McDonald’s was left shocked and shuttered after its St. Patrick’s Day promotional event sent the location into financial and physical ruin.  The promo, which promised locals a free Shamrock Shake if they have a shamrock tattoo, ended up attracting more than 94,000 tatted residents from across the area.  “We thought this would be a fun way to … [Read more...] about Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

March 11, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

“FanDuel was running all these new promos this week to celebrate Massachusetts legalizing sports betting. They were too good to pass up!” explained the Governor, visibly ashamed and shaking. “Next this I knew, I’d blown hundreds of millions on a 10 leg Red Sox parlay bet. All UMass schools are hereby closed indefinitely until I win it all back on Australian horse racing at … [Read more...] about All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore!

March 9, 2023 by Tony Morse Leave a Comment

Last weekend I was looking for something different, so I headed up to Peabody. After making my way into the most adorable local eatery, I received an enthusiastic welcome from a server with a mischievous little smile. And with how she started talking up the house special, I started to wonder if I was in the right place! I was so caught off guard when she asked me if I’m into … [Read more...] about I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore!

Family Starts GoFundMe For Frostbite Treatment After Boston Man Heroically Carried A Large Iced Extra Extra Home For His Ma During Arctic Freeze

February 4, 2023 by Stacey Curran Leave a Comment

Denny, known throughout the City by this name and this name only, was casually driven to the ER by Ma after it was ascertained he damaged his dermis on his Dunks’ run. “I knew I was taking a risk double fisting those icy bad boys, so I broke out into a jog when I noticed my hands were starting to freeze to the cups. My slippers kept falling off though, so I just walked … [Read more...] about Family Starts GoFundMe For Frostbite Treatment After Boston Man Heroically Carried A Large Iced Extra Extra Home For His Ma During Arctic Freeze

Boston Area Landlord Admits Most Of $3000 Rent Goes Toward Maintaining Ornate Door Frames

January 12, 2023 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“Almost every property I own was built in 1910 and has these exact door and window frames, which aren’t cheap to upkeep!” said one Cambridge landlord, who bought 5 dilapidated triple deckers in 1989 for $20,000. “Sure, I pocket about $2,500 per month pure profit per rental, but the paint on these suckers isn’t free! And neither is hiring my cousin to take pictures of the … [Read more...] about Boston Area Landlord Admits Most Of $3000 Rent Goes Toward Maintaining Ornate Door Frames

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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