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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

dunkin

Dunkin’ Drives Mobile Cold Brew Pool Around Boston To Help Locals Beat The Heat

August 2, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Boston swims in Dunkin™?!! “The best is that no cleaning is required. We just drain the pool at the end of the day and serve at our Downtown Crossing locations!” said the driver. … [Read more...] about Dunkin’ Drives Mobile Cold Brew Pool Around Boston To Help Locals Beat The Heat

Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard

December 18, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Beware: a New Englander is at their most powerful in these circumstances. Steal their shoveled parking spot with extra caution, or you might get frozen alive by their ice breath. … [Read more...] about Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard

Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box

December 2, 2021 by Andrew Haskell

QUINCY—To celebrate Governor Charlie Baker’s two terms as head of the Bay State, Dunkin’ Donuts announced today the release of the “Baker’s Dozen”—13 donuts squeezed right in the middle of the box, with none of them falling too far to the right and none of them falling too far to the left. When asked if having so many donuts stuffed square in the center would limit their … [Read more...] about Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box

Merriam-Webster Adds ‘Mediumregulariced’ To Dictionary

September 29, 2020 by Bailey Hull

black and white book browse dictionary

Thanks to a petition signed by 4 million New England residents, Merriam-Webster will officially add "Mediumregulariced” to their dictionary on national coffee day. “This is a monumental achievement for New Englanders everywhere,” said Carrie Meisner, a spokesperson for the dictionary company who lives in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. “What could be more representative of our … [Read more...] about Merriam-Webster Adds ‘Mediumregulariced’ To Dictionary

Local Dunkin’ Donuts Haunted By Ghost Of Baskin-Robbins

August 29, 2020 by Michael Tobin

“Ever since I started working here three weeks ago, a lot of strange things have been happening,” said a Dunkin’ staff member at a location in Needham, which like many stores formerly housed a Baskin-Robbins ice-cream shop. “It all seems to be coming from that empty counter over there, the eerie one that has spaces for thirty-one delicious flavors.” Though the Dunkin’ … [Read more...] about Local Dunkin’ Donuts Haunted By Ghost Of Baskin-Robbins

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Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020

AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

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August 4, 2022

MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line

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Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022

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June 24, 2022

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

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  • Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’ August 9, 2022
  • AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist August 7, 2022
  • Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means August 4, 2022
  • MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line August 3, 2022

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