• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Sports

Return Of Baseball Forces Wally The Green Monster To Drop Out Of Upcoming Season Of ‘Love Is Blind’

March 10, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

HOLLYWOOD, CA - News that the MLB and MLBPA have ended the looming lockout has been met with a flurry of excitement from baseball fans—but one key member of the Red Sox isn’t so excited. According to TMZ, Wally The Green Monster has been forced to drop out of the next season of Netflix hit “Love Is Blind” to return to Fenway Park for the upcoming baseball season.  The … [Read more...] about Return Of Baseball Forces Wally The Green Monster To Drop Out Of Upcoming Season Of ‘Love Is Blind’

Oh, You’re A Bruins Fan? Name 3 Charlestown Pubs You’re Banned From

March 2, 2022 by The Boston Accent

If you haven’t been kicked out of Warren Tavern after a night at TD Garden, do you even like Boston sports? … [Read more...] about Oh, You’re A Bruins Fan? Name 3 Charlestown Pubs You’re Banned From

‘I Named 3 Freakin’ Dogs After You!’ Patriots Fans React To Brady Retirement Snub

February 2, 2022 by The Boston Accent

The GOAT Tom Brady formally announced his retirement from the NFL after 22 seasons and 7 Super Bowl Titles. While there will be plenty of time to celebrate his storied career, New England fans couldn’t help but notice the lack of Patriots love in his retirement announcement. Here’s how some reacted: “What a waste of a 6th round pick!” - Pam, Worcester “I’ll never wear … [Read more...] about ‘I Named 3 Freakin’ Dogs After You!’ Patriots Fans React To Brady Retirement Snub

Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring

January 29, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“Brady was like a father to me, even though I’m 10 years older than him,” said Medford resident Louie Palanzo in a tear-filled Facebook live video stream. “He was always there for me, through the thick and thin, every season. After my old man kicked the bucket, I cheered myself up watching the Pats at the wake. His retirement is without a doubt the saddest moment of my entire … [Read more...] about Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring

Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

January 17, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

In an announcement sure to appease hurting Pats fans everywhere, Bill Belichick told reporters today that next season, the team will “most likely” bring back cheating to avoid another heartbreak season.  “Suffering through a 47-17 loss to the Buffalo Bills can have a devastating impact on the mental and physical health of our fan base,” Belichick said. “You know me, I’m … [Read more...] about Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag August 29, 2025
  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...