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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Sports

Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family

November 1, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

With the New England Patriots recording their worst season in nearly 20 years, local Braintree man Mikey Brown has surprisingly found himself getting to know his family. “The Pats have just been good for so long that I haven’t had a lazy Sunday in years. Now I’m looking around and realizing I should probably get to know my kids,” he added. Brown’s children, ages 5 and 9, … [Read more...] about Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family

Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price

October 18, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

After early voting started this week at Fenway Park, scalpers were spotted outside the historic stadium selling discount ballots to Boston voters.  “I got one for Biden, two for Trump, and twelve for Jo Jorgensen,” said scalper Dave O’Connor, displaying a jacket pocket full of crumbled up ballots. “Lowest I’ll go is $50, these are selling for at least double … [Read more...] about Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

September 25, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. Barry, a self-proclaimed “wicked big Celtics fan,” appeared to have cut his face after trying to drink from a broken bottle of Sam Adams following the Celtics’ tragic loss earlier in the evening. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick , but I keep … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves

September 13, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick shocked fans and fashion-enthusiasts alike on Sunday when he revealed his new look: sweatshirt-less sleeves, a bold departure from his usual sleeveless sweatshirt. “I always wondered what he did with those sleeves he cut off,” said Bart Wodder, a Patriots fan, and an avid gray sweatshirt wearer. “This is not what I expected. I guess … [Read more...] about Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves

Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River

September 12, 2020 by The Boston Accent

The star Celtics player, whose crucial block late in the fourth quarter murdered any chance of a Toronto championship repeat, said it was an honor to dispose of the Raptors remains into Boston's largest trash repository. … [Read more...] about Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River

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