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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

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Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring

January 29, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“Brady was like a father to me, even though I’m 10 years older than him,” said Medford resident Louie Palanzo in a tear-filled Facebook live video stream. “He was always there for me, through the thick and thin, every season. After my old man kicked the bucket, I cheered myself up watching the Pats at the wake. His retirement is without a doubt the saddest moment of my entire … [Read more...] about Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring

Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

January 17, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

In an announcement sure to appease hurting Pats fans everywhere, Bill Belichick told reporters today that next season, the team will “most likely” bring back cheating to avoid another heartbreak season.  “Suffering through a 47-17 loss to the Buffalo Bills can have a devastating impact on the mental and physical health of our fan base,” Belichick said. “You know me, I’m … [Read more...] about Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

Interest In Attending University of Vermont Still Best Way To Find Out If Your Kid Smokes Weed

January 1, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Since 1791, parents have relied on their teen’s stated interest in going to UVM for college as a proxy to tell if they smoke weed. A new study has confirmed that in 2021, an application to UVM was more predictive that your kid blows mad tree than any other factor, including them saying “I literally smoke weed all the time.” “When my little Tommy told us he heard … [Read more...] about Interest In Attending University of Vermont Still Best Way To Find Out If Your Kid Smokes Weed

Mayor Wu Infuriates Antivaxxer Who Already Wasn’t Getting Invited Anywhere

December 21, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BOSTON—Following Mayor Wu’s announcement of a proof-of-vaccine requirement to enter indoor restaurants and venues in Boston, the city’s outspoken antivax residents—who clearly weren’t getting invited to dinner anyways—were in an uproar. “We live in a certified nanny state that doesn’t respect the will of its citizens,” said one antivax Boston resident, who has already been … [Read more...] about Mayor Wu Infuriates Antivaxxer Who Already Wasn’t Getting Invited Anywhere

Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement

December 14, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BRIDGEWATER, MA — Kim Hobbs couldn’t believe her luck as a returning Bridgewater State University sophomore when she was given the chance to switch her major to BSU’s new Student Debt Enforcement program, the fastest growing degree across student-debt-addled America. “I used to be a criminal justice major, pre-law minor, but when I realized that law school would require … [Read more...] about Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement

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  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025

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