“I am proud to say that we believe this bill will become a model for responsible sports wagering in this country,” said Senate Ways and Means Chairman Michael Rodrigues. “It will also totally screw over Rhode Island, which has been a long-term goal of ours. And they really do deserve it for trying to remove the best part of a pizza and thinking they can get away with it.” … [Read more...] about With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips
National News
Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now
NORTON, MA – Forecasters from the National Cinema Service have warned that we could be due for another Ben Affleck movie any day now. Residents are advised to take precautions to ensure the safety of their homes and streaming services. “The country has experienced multiple major Ben Affleck movies across the past twenty years,” said NCS scientist Dr. Vikesh Sharma, “Most of … [Read more...] about Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now
Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger
“What Kyrie did was inexcusable and my son Jameson will never recover from it,” said the fan outside T.D. Garden, holding his soaking wet child in one hand and smoking a Marlboro with his other. “Trashy behavior from a trashy human being.” … [Read more...] about Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger
‘I’d Tap That,’ Says Vermonter About Maple Tree
Happy Sugaring Season to all who celebrate, you kinky Vermonters. … [Read more...] about ‘I’d Tap That,’ Says Vermonter About Maple Tree
How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines
Real talk is hard. All of the eye contact and opening up—wouldn't it be easier to shoot the shit about inconsequential sports news while you watch the game together? That’s why we're here to help. Do you have some important things you've been waiting to say to your father figure but you're just not great at expressing yourself? Here’s how to tell your dad you love him and … [Read more...] about How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines