In a move experts are calling “totally weird but kind of necessary,” Tufts University announced this week that they will be purchasing every first year student a Pornhub Premium account, intended to “keep them occupied for a while” so they don’t party. “As an administration, our reopening plan is comprehensive and places student safety at its core,” said a school … [Read more...] about Tufts University Buys Pornhub Premium For Every Freshman To Keep Students In Dorms
College
Northeastern University Move-In Day Great Practice For Move-Out Day In Two Weeks
"I picked Northeastern because of the diversity of the student body. There are students from all 50 states on campus, so I really look forward to experiencing 50 unique strains of COVID in the next few weeks," said Kriti Agarwal, a freshman from New Jersey. From contributor Alice H. Lahoda. Check out Alice on Medium, Twitter, and Instagram Image Copyright: @northeastern / … [Read more...] about Northeastern University Move-In Day Great Practice For Move-Out Day In Two Weeks
School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation. “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive
In anticipation of the September 1st moving day that plagues Boston each year, U-Haul announced it will introduce convertible moving trucks designed for use along Storrow Drive. “Trucks get stuck under the overpasses on Storrow every year, no matter how many warnings the city puts up,” said Director of Vehicle Design and Aerodynamics Hubert “Hugh” Hall at a press … [Read more...] about U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive
BREAKING: Bentley University Still Exists
In news that no one saw coming, Bentley University announced on Thursday that it somehow still exists. “We’re just as surprised as everyone else,” said Bentley’s dean of students, who admits she fully expected the school to go under by now. “I’ve been applying to jobs since March, just in case.” A Bentley university student told us he didn’t realize the school was … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Bentley University Still Exists