After spending millions on testing and contact tracing to prevent COVID spread on campuses, college presidents and administrators around the country are breathing a collective sigh of relief as they wave goodbye to the last students leaving for Winter Break. “I hope they make good choices but frankly, I am so exhausted I could not care less,” said a local college president, … [Read more...] about College President Pounds A Forty To Unwind As Students Head Home To Become Parents’ Problem
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Universal Studios Announces “16 Candles” Reboot About Celebrating Hanukkah With Divorced Parents
It’s a holiday miracle! Universal Studios has announced a reboot of the 80’s classic “Sixteen Candles”. But this time, the coming-of-age film will follow a young Jewish girl as she endures the eight nights of Hanukkah with her recently divorced parents. Lighting one menorah over and over and over is already exhausting--just imagine doing it all twice, with parents who hate each … [Read more...] about Universal Studios Announces “16 Candles” Reboot About Celebrating Hanukkah With Divorced Parents
Succulent Thriving On No Water And Zero Attention, Unlike You
As made clear by its waxy sheen and plump leaves, your succulent is absolutely loving its total lack of hydration and dearth of love and affection. It’s too bad those same conditions are literally killing you. … [Read more...] about Succulent Thriving On No Water And Zero Attention, Unlike You
The New England Revolution Will Not Be Televised
According to a whistleblower, New England sports media elites across all networks are conspiring to suppress attention to the New England Revolution, Boston’s oft-forgotten MLS team. “It’s a farce I tell you, the media doesn’t want you to know the Revolution exists,” claimed the whistleblower, who added they definitely are not a member of the soccer team. “We, I mean they, … [Read more...] about The New England Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On
“Wearing a mask is an individual choice that I am willing to sacrifice my life for,” added the man, who will also inadvertently be sacrificing the lives of countless others with his misguided patriotism. “I’m brave like that.” … [Read more...] about Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On