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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

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Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

March 30, 2021 by The Boston Accent

He may have been confirmed as Labor Secretary just a week ago, but Marty Walsh is wasting no time increasing employment in his new city. Amazingly, he’s already DOUBLED the staff at the Dunkin’ closest to his DC office! “This guy must drink like 20 iced coffees a day, he’s in here every hour and always ordering complicated stuff I didn’t even know we made. I can barely keep … [Read more...] about Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

Cape Cod Resident Surprised To Hear Shrimp Tails Aren’t Commonly Found In All Breakfast Cereals

March 27, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“In Harwich, we eat our oats with roe and use crab legs as spoons. I thought everyone ate seafood parts in every meal?” … [Read more...] about Cape Cod Resident Surprised To Hear Shrimp Tails Aren’t Commonly Found In All Breakfast Cereals

Not To Be Outdone By Chicago, Boston Dyes Marty Walsh Green For Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

In response to the annual dyeing of the Chicago River, Boston has one-upped the Windy City by turning Mayor Marty Walsh green. “We thought it was about time to develop our own green tradition, and I happened to have a bunch of food coloring left over from my niece’s rainbow themed birthday party,” said the shamrock colored mayor. “I honestly kinda like it—makes me feel like … [Read more...] about Not To Be Outdone By Chicago, Boston Dyes Marty Walsh Green For Saint Patrick’s Day

Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

March 16, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

As the most recent investor in the Fenway Sports Group, which owns the Red Sox, James expanded his ownership of Boston sports teams—after a decade of absolutely owning the Celtics at TD Garden. … [Read more...] about Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

Patriots Sign Literal Goat

March 14, 2021 by Malt Schlitzman

“It’s perfect because he has the exact same diet as Brady did,” said the Patriots team chef. The goat, name Tahhhhhm, is already a close friend of Belichick, and has taken on the extra role of chewing the sleeves off his hoodies. … [Read more...] about Patriots Sign Literal Goat

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

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