BOSTON, MA—After swiftly stuffing 78 joints into his dresser before the RA came in for room inspection, Emerson junior Codey Sherman officially broke the world record for most banana kush pre-rolls shoved in a single sock drawer. “I am incredibly proud of Codey. She truly embodies all of the qualities we look for in an Emerson student: ingenuity, perseverance, and of course, … [Read more...] about Impressive! Emerson Junior Breaks World Record For Most Banana Kush Pre-Rolls Shoved In One Sock Drawer
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Heartwarming: Senator Sinema Pays Homage To Her Hero Emperor Commodus From Gladiator In Vote Against $15 Minimum Wage
“Some people thought I was paying tribute to John McCain’s thumbs down of repealing the ACA. Boy are those people wrong!” Said the Arizona senator, one of eight democrats who voted against gradually raising the Federal minimum wage to $15. “I loved Gladiator and that emperor was totally in love with power and human suffering. He was my real inspiration.” All … [Read more...] about Heartwarming: Senator Sinema Pays Homage To Her Hero Emperor Commodus From Gladiator In Vote Against $15 Minimum Wage
Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After earning his second impeachment, President Trump is now just one away from the final third punch on his Presidential Preferred Customer Card, granting him one medium-sized frozen yogurt of his choice. “Everybody said this was a deed that couldn’t be done. Too complicated. Too big. Couldn’t be done. Well, guess what? I’ve punched more holes than ANBODY … [Read more...] about Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt
As Expected: New England Wins Yet Another Competition
We really are the BEST at everything, huh? Surprised New Hampshire made the cut though. Maybe we need to ask for a recount… … [Read more...] about As Expected: New England Wins Yet Another Competition
Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions
This time last year, Bobby Sullivan didn’t know a lick of code, calmness, or Buddhist dharma teachings. He didn’t know much of anything, for that matter. Before last month, his most reliable source of stress relief was cursing out Yankees fans after drunken nights in Fenway. But after punching countless holes in his condo’s drywall during the stressful pandemic … [Read more...] about Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions