• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Suffolk University Tour Guide Tries His Hardest Not To Let Visitors Catch Glimpse Of Other Better Schools

September 28, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

“It’s really hard to keep a group focused on our school when there are like 10 other better ones that are visible at any given time on our tour,” sighed exasperated Suffolk tour guide Andrew Fields. “One wrong turn and ‘Boom!’ They see Emerson. Or we accidentally walk by Tufts medical school without me even realizing it. Not to mention most of the time our tour attendees took … [Read more...] about Suffolk University Tour Guide Tries His Hardest Not To Let Visitors Catch Glimpse Of Other Better Schools

Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch

September 27, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Fall is officially here! This morning, a bus full of flatlander passengers doing nothing but looking out the window managed to miss the myriad warnings that their leaf peeping tour bus would not make the tight turns of Smugglers Notch. Thankfully, after only 5 hours the bus was freed and soon became the problem of New York State. The oblivious passengers were reportedly … [Read more...] about Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch

Dog Practices Self Care By Befriending Reflection In Mirror

September 23, 2021 by Matt Dooman

“Hi there. Who are you?” said 7-year-old Molly, a beagle mix known all around town for her waggy tail. “Welcome to me and my human’s house!” Molly inched toward the new mirror with curious excitement. “You look like me, kinda sorta, but I’m here, not over there. We should be buddies, whoever you are. We can all use more friends.” Molly approached her mirrored self to give … [Read more...] about Dog Practices Self Care By Befriending Reflection In Mirror

Touching: BC And BU Students Bond Over Mutual Hatred Of Harvard Students

September 18, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“Eagles and Terriers don’t normally get along. But we will happily join forces to destroy Pilgrims,” explain a BC student. … [Read more...] about Touching: BC And BU Students Bond Over Mutual Hatred Of Harvard Students

Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election

September 13, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BOSTON—Recent polling results suggest that citizens of Boston are increasingly worried about the startling lack of blah, noncommittal white men running for mayor in this year’s election. In a historic first for the city, the mayoral race includes approximately zero confused-looking middle-aged white dudes spouting nonsense and palaver. Reports suggest many voters are … [Read more...] about Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...