• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

October 20, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

Denny’s Renames Grand Slam Meal In Houston Locations To Avoid Re-Traumatizing Astros Fans

October 18, 2021 by Tony Morse

After multiple complaints from distraught Astros fans, Denny’s has announced they are renaming the Grand Slam meal at all Houston locations to avoid further traumatizing baseball fans in the area. “Our restaurants are a safe space for everyone, including Astros fans watching this playoff series,” said a Denny’s spokesperson. “That’s why we are now calling the Grand Slam … [Read more...] about Denny’s Renames Grand Slam Meal In Houston Locations To Avoid Re-Traumatizing Astros Fans

Wu Train Only Viable Transit Line In City Of Boston

October 13, 2021 by Eileen O’Hara

With the mayoral election quickly approaching and transportation remaining a hot button issue, many Boston residents have aptly noted that the Wu Train is currently the only working transit line in the city. “After reviewing Michelle Wu’s platform during my daily hour-long MBTA delays, I’ve come to realize I support her stance on just about everything,” said Dorchester … [Read more...] about Wu Train Only Viable Transit Line In City Of Boston

Boston Spends Indigenous Peoples’ Day Literally Running From History

October 11, 2021 by The Boston Accent

In what may be the clearest ever example of irony, competitors in the 2021 Boston Marathon are spending Indigenous Peoples’ Day literally running away from history as fast as they can. As they paced through the ancestral land of the Massachusett, Wampanoag, Nipmuc, and other tribes, marathoners honored the day by running really, really fast, tossing water cups on the ground, … [Read more...] about Boston Spends Indigenous Peoples’ Day Literally Running From History

Facing Federal Fraud Charges, Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis Asks Court To Try Him As A Juvenile

October 10, 2021 by Tony Morse

The professional basketball world was stunned last week when federal prosecutors unveiled sweeping fraud charges in a massive case against 18 former NBA players, including 17 grownups plus former Celtic Glen “Big Baby” Davis. “These are serious adult accusations that require special considerations when someone as childish as my client is alleged to be involved,” said … [Read more...] about Facing Federal Fraud Charges, Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis Asks Court To Try Him As A Juvenile

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Sports

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

College

‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

February 1, 2024

National

Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston

March 14, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...