On Monday, a team of scientists from MIT reported incredible findings: 9 in 10 Residents of Dorchester are genetically related to the Wahlberg family. “Deep down, I always knew I had Marky Mark blood flowin through my veins,” said Dot resident Kyle Quinnly, who added he gets mistaken for a Wahlberg at least twice a year. “Does this mean I get some of their Wahlburgers … [Read more...] about Ancestry Study Reveals 91% Of Dorchester Residents Related To Wahlberg Family
Top Stories
Santa Reminds Mass Residents That “Less Traffic On 95” Is Not A Realistic Gift
BRAINTREE, MA — We caught up with the big man himself, Santa Claus, who gave us a rundown of the most popular gift requests in the Bay State. Near the top of the list were expected requests, like Playstation 5’s, iPhone 13’s, and a real point guard for the Celtics. But what topped that list this year? Something Father Christmas sadly wants to remind residents he can’t actually … [Read more...] about Santa Reminds Mass Residents That “Less Traffic On 95” Is Not A Realistic Gift
Mayor Wu Infuriates Antivaxxer Who Already Wasn’t Getting Invited Anywhere
BOSTON—Following Mayor Wu’s announcement of a proof-of-vaccine requirement to enter indoor restaurants and venues in Boston, the city’s outspoken antivax residents—who clearly weren’t getting invited to dinner anyways—were in an uproar. “We live in a certified nanny state that doesn’t respect the will of its citizens,” said one antivax Boston resident, who has already been … [Read more...] about Mayor Wu Infuriates Antivaxxer Who Already Wasn’t Getting Invited Anywhere
Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard
Beware: a New Englander is at their most powerful in these circumstances. Steal their shoveled parking spot with extra caution, or you might get frozen alive by their ice breath. … [Read more...] about Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard
Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement
BRIDGEWATER, MA — Kim Hobbs couldn’t believe her luck as a returning Bridgewater State University sophomore when she was given the chance to switch her major to BSU’s new Student Debt Enforcement program, the fastest growing degree across student-debt-addled America. “I used to be a criminal justice major, pre-law minor, but when I realized that law school would require … [Read more...] about Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement