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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Mayor Wu Infuriates Antivaxxer Who Already Wasn’t Getting Invited Anywhere

December 21, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BOSTON—Following Mayor Wu’s announcement of a proof-of-vaccine requirement to enter indoor restaurants and venues in Boston, the city’s outspoken antivax residents—who clearly weren’t getting invited to dinner anyways—were in an uproar. “We live in a certified nanny state that doesn’t respect the will of its citizens,” said one antivax Boston resident, who has already been … [Read more...] about Mayor Wu Infuriates Antivaxxer Who Already Wasn’t Getting Invited Anywhere

Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard

December 18, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Beware: a New Englander is at their most powerful in these circumstances. Steal their shoveled parking spot with extra caution, or you might get frozen alive by their ice breath. … [Read more...] about Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard

Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement

December 14, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BRIDGEWATER, MA — Kim Hobbs couldn’t believe her luck as a returning Bridgewater State University sophomore when she was given the chance to switch her major to BSU’s new Student Debt Enforcement program, the fastest growing degree across student-debt-addled America. “I used to be a criminal justice major, pre-law minor, but when I realized that law school would require … [Read more...] about Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement

Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal

December 7, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“I actually started the winter parking hunt on Halloween by seeing which neighbors give out what,” explained Fred Ferreiro of Fall River. “The full size candy bar givers are people that will dig out a spot, but they’ll also call the cops. I was on the lookout for people that gave out handfuls because they’re responsible enough to be stocked up but also pushovers.” … [Read more...] about Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal

Archaeologists In 2087 Discover Long Lost Neighborhood Of Seaport

December 4, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“I grew up hearing stories about a mythical luxury district destroyed by flooding, but never thought it really existed,” said lead aquatic excavator Moira Sanchez, flipping through underwater photos of a dilapidated club once called The Grand. “The site is impeccably preserved—We even found a pair of Sperrys still stained with what we think is Sam Adams Winter Lager.” … [Read more...] about Archaeologists In 2087 Discover Long Lost Neighborhood Of Seaport

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
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  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

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