• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Impressive! Nationwide Survey Ranks Harvard Second Best University In All Of Cambridge

October 19, 2022 by Carlos Greaves

A well-known local institution earned a prestigious accolade this year after a recent nationwide survey of colleges and universities conducted by Money Magazine ranked Harvard University the second best university in all of Cambridge, Massachusetts. After a rigorous comparison of colleges across the entire nation, which took into consideration countless factors like … [Read more...] about Impressive! Nationwide Survey Ranks Harvard Second Best University In All Of Cambridge

Green Line Extension Delayed Another Six Months Due To Single Leaf On Tracks

October 15, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“As you can see, the leaf looks extra crunchy, so we are taking special precautions. We’re currently drafting a Leaf Removal Plan (LRP) and will then be seeking proposals from contractors to find the right partner to solve this crisis,” explain the MBTA PR director. “Safety is our number one concern at the MBTA. Our track record shows that.” … [Read more...] about Green Line Extension Delayed Another Six Months Due To Single Leaf On Tracks

Idiot Hikers Spend Hours Walking Around Blue Hills Just To Wind Up In Exact Same Place They Started

October 11, 2022 by Carlos Greaves

MILTON, Mass.—Local residents were puzzled Saturday morning after spotting two people, wearing what appeared to be hiking gear, park their car near the Blue Hills Reservation then proceed to walk down a dirt path leading into the woods, only to wind up back at the exact same spot four hours later. “Did they get lost or something? I mean what kind of person gets out of their … [Read more...] about Idiot Hikers Spend Hours Walking Around Blue Hills Just To Wind Up In Exact Same Place They Started

Fake Exploding Package At Northeastern Still More Real Than Roommate’s Girlfriend Who ‘Just Goes To A Different School’

October 9, 2022 by Will Vaillancourt

"Sure, the suspicious package thing may have just been a big ruse for some dude to criticize Mark Zuckerberg,“ said Northeastern sophomore Evan Griswold. "But it still had more truth to it than my roommate talking about his 'girlfriend' who he swears is 'very cool' and ‘goes to Tufts which is too far for her to visit.’ Sure.” … [Read more...] about Fake Exploding Package At Northeastern Still More Real Than Roommate’s Girlfriend Who ‘Just Goes To A Different School’

Jewish Person Feeds Entire Year’s Worth Of Sins To Unsuspecting Ducks

September 26, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“My favorite part of Rosh Hashana, and honestly the only part I still do, is the tashlich ceremony, where we ritually cast away sins in the form of bread into a nearby body of water,” said local resident Joseph Klein. The ducks who eat the bread have no idea that they are symbolically consuming my worst misdeeds of the part year. Or maybe they do and just love the taste of sin. … [Read more...] about Jewish Person Feeds Entire Year’s Worth Of Sins To Unsuspecting Ducks

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag

August 29, 2025

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Sports

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Boston Gently Reminds New York We Had A Cool Young Progressive Mayor First

November 6, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Boston Gently Reminds New York We Had A Cool Young Progressive Mayor First November 6, 2025
  • Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag August 29, 2025
  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...