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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Will Vaillancourt

Fake Exploding Package At Northeastern Still More Real Than Roommate’s Girlfriend Who ‘Just Goes To A Different School’

October 9, 2022 by Will Vaillancourt

"Sure, the suspicious package thing may have just been a big ruse for some dude to criticize Mark Zuckerberg,“ said Northeastern sophomore Evan Griswold. "But it still had more truth to it than my roommate talking about his 'girlfriend' who he swears is 'very cool' and ‘goes to Tufts which is too far for her to visit.’ Sure.” … [Read more...] about Fake Exploding Package At Northeastern Still More Real Than Roommate’s Girlfriend Who ‘Just Goes To A Different School’

Tommy Heinsohn Spends First Week In Heaven Reading List Of Missed Calls Against Celtics To David Stern

November 17, 2020 by Will Vaillancourt

HEAVEN—Celtics legend Tommy Heinsohn, who passed away last Tuesday at the age of 86, spent his first week in heaven giving an earful to former NBA commissioner David Stern over decades of missed calls against his beloved team. Heinsohn’s arrival at the pearly gates—painted purple and gold, much to his chagrin—occurred only ten months after Stern’s passing. In fact, rumor has … [Read more...] about Tommy Heinsohn Spends First Week In Heaven Reading List Of Missed Calls Against Celtics To David Stern

U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive

August 11, 2020 by Will Vaillancourt

In anticipation of the September 1st moving day that plagues Boston each year, U-Haul announced it will introduce convertible moving trucks designed for use along Storrow Drive.  “Trucks get stuck under the overpasses on Storrow every year, no matter how many warnings the city puts up,” said Director of Vehicle Design and Aerodynamics Hubert “Hugh” Hall at a press … [Read more...] about U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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