“I grew up hearing stories about a mythical luxury district destroyed by flooding, but never thought it really existed,” said lead aquatic excavator Moira Sanchez, flipping through underwater photos of a dilapidated club once called The Grand. “The site is impeccably preserved—We even found a pair of Sperrys still stained with what we think is Sam Adams Winter Lager.” … [Read more...] about Archaeologists In 2087 Discover Long Lost Neighborhood Of Seaport
Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
Goy Vey! “Jewish” Friend Can’t Remember What Night Of Hanukkah It Is
It’s literally night 1, Lauren. Doesn’t your iPhone tell you that? You know, the one your parents bought you last year…for Hanukkah. … [Read more...] about Goy Vey! “Jewish” Friend Can’t Remember What Night Of Hanukkah It Is
Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce
Leaders of the constantly at war turkey gangs the Brookline Byrdz and the Cambridge Clucks announced this evening a historic Thanksgiving ceasefire to commemorate fallen turkey brothers and sisters, our on the ground reporters confirmed. “We’ve lost too many bad Byrdz to this so called ‘holiday’,” said leader OG Snoody Pecks. “Today, we will set our differences aside and … [Read more...] about Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce
High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools
“There are so many great schools in and around Boston that I would love to end up at,” said local salutatorian Renee Gomez. “Harvard, MIT, the other ones, they’re all really good options that I’m fully considering equally! School fit matters more than anything else, if you ask me.” At press time, Gomez was seen skipping her scheduled tour of Bentley University while posing … [Read more...] about High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools