Leaders of the constantly at war turkey gangs the Brookline Byrdz and the Cambridge Clucks announced this evening a historic Thanksgiving ceasefire to commemorate fallen turkey brothers and sisters, our on the ground reporters confirmed. “We’ve lost too many bad Byrdz to this so called ‘holiday’,” said leader OG Snoody Pecks. “Today, we will set our differences aside and … [Read more...] about Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce
High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools
“There are so many great schools in and around Boston that I would love to end up at,” said local salutatorian Renee Gomez. “Harvard, MIT, the other ones, they’re all really good options that I’m fully considering equally! School fit matters more than anything else, if you ask me.” At press time, Gomez was seen skipping her scheduled tour of Bentley University while posing … [Read more...] about High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools
Vermont Kids Explain Costumes They’re Wearing Under Parka And Ski Pants
Halloween is here and that means Vermont kids are busy practicing the description of the costume they will be wearing under their parkas and other required winter gear. “I am dressing up as skeleton this year and you can sort of see my mask,” said 10 year old Ken Philips. “I wore special effect makeup last year but it froze to my face so…Mom says nothing this … [Read more...] about Vermont Kids Explain Costumes They’re Wearing Under Parka And Ski Pants
Terrifying Twist: Tourists Flock To Salem For Halloween Only To Realize It Totally Sucks
In a haunting turn of events that seems right out of an M Night Shyamalan movie, tourists from across the country have traveled to Salem, Massachusetts for the shock of their lives: it actually sucks. “I came here to see some ghosts, experience the witch trials, and maybe encounter a colonial-era ghoul or two, but all I got was a weekend stuck in an overcrowded suburb full … [Read more...] about Terrifying Twist: Tourists Flock To Salem For Halloween Only To Realize It Totally Sucks
Boston Spends Indigenous Peoples’ Day Literally Running From History
In what may be the clearest ever example of irony, competitors in the 2021 Boston Marathon are spending Indigenous Peoples’ Day literally running away from history as fast as they can. As they paced through the ancestral land of the Massachusett, Wampanoag, Nipmuc, and other tribes, marathoners honored the day by running really, really fast, tossing water cups on the ground, … [Read more...] about Boston Spends Indigenous Peoples’ Day Literally Running From History