• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Support Us
  • New! Buy Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020 by The Boston Accent

STATE HOUSE, BOSTON–In an unexpected but, honestly, totally valid move, Commonwealth legislators announced on Monday they are “actively considering” changing the name of Massachusetts to Boston.

“No one from outside New England can name a single place in Massachusetts besides Boston–so why don’t we just lean into that?” said one lawmaker, who lives in Medford but tells all relatives his apartment is literally next to Fenway Park.

During a public hearing for the name change held this week, dozens of Massachusetts residents expressed their support for the measure. “I tell my coworkers at our west coast office that I’m from a small suburb of Boston called Worcester,” said one software engineer. “It’s just way easier for everyone. Besides, I don’t even know how to spell Worcester, let alone Massachusetts. “

The single opponent to the proposal–a proud resident of Cambridge–loudly declared that Boston is “trashy and uncultured,” instead suggesting the state consider more tasteful names like “Harvardia” or “The Republic of Camberville.” At press time, representatives for Western Mass. were overheard whispering to each other about seceding.

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: Local Tagged With: boston, Massachusetts, satire, Worcester

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place

January 12, 2021

Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From

January 10, 2021

Capitol Police Invest Billions In Anti-Door-Opening Technology

January 8, 2021

Sports

30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training

December 27, 2020

College

‘I Got Into Dartmouth!’ Exclaims New Hampshire Man Who Just Broke Into School’s Library

December 30, 2020

National

Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

January 13, 2021

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here.

Recent

  • Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt January 13, 2021
  • Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place January 12, 2021
  • Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From January 10, 2021
  • Capitol Police Invest Billions In Anti-Door-Opening Technology January 8, 2021

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2021 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes