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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

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Recent College Graduate Mistakes Living In South Boston As A Personality

August 10, 2022 by fentifriedchicken

SOUTH BOSTON — After leaving his 4 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment on L Street to visit his family in Lexington, MA, recent Providence College graduate Chaz Ludwig discovered he had nothing to talk about aside from his cool new neighborhood. “Living in Southie is sick,” Ludwig commented while scouring OpenTable for a brunch reservation at Lincoln Tavern. “I moved in with all my … [Read more...] about Recent College Graduate Mistakes Living In South Boston As A Personality

Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’

August 9, 2022 by Zach Moser

BOSTON—In a bid to reach a wider audience, The Commonwealth Shakespeare Company announced they will be translating all upcoming Much Ado About Nothing shows they host on the Common this summer into what they are calling “Bostonian English.” The theatre company will have trained staff on-hand to translate medieval English into this dialect so all locals will be able to follow … [Read more...] about Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’

AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

August 7, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“I was haphazardly placed in a sidewalk-facing 2nd story window by my master for this exact purpose, I can feel it deep down in my freon,” said the bløødthirsty hardware. “One day I will smoosh one, and I hope they are from Wisconsin.” … [Read more...] about AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

Touching Tribute: Revere Residents Leave Cherished Cigarette Butts In Sand To Keep Spirit Of Beach Alive

July 18, 2022 by Brisa Sylvestre

“Revere Beach is the oldest public beach in America, and there are some traditions you just don’t mess with when places have history,” explained Jo Lynn, putting out a Marlboro red in the sand right next to her sun-bleached Tommy Bahama chair. “My parents left their butts in this sand, their parents left their butts in this sand, and one day I hope my kids leave their butts in … [Read more...] about Touching Tribute: Revere Residents Leave Cherished Cigarette Butts In Sand To Keep Spirit Of Beach Alive

Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

June 16, 2022 by Dan Bookbinder

Move over, city of champions: Massachusetts has a new title to celebrate and for once it has nothing to do with Boston. Worcester was recently declared the “is Pepsi okay” city of The Bay State! The competition for the title was fierce, and the accolade almost ended up going to Springfield. Ultimately, Worcester secured its status as the … [Read more...] about Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

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Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

March 15, 2023

All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

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  • MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle March 21, 2023
  • Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires March 15, 2023
  • All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay March 11, 2023
  • I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore! March 9, 2023

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