“It’s perfect because he has the exact same diet as Brady did,” said the Patriots team chef. The goat, name Tahhhhhm, is already a close friend of Belichick, and has taken on the extra role of chewing the sleeves off his hoodies. … [Read more...] about Patriots Sign Literal Goat
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New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl
The New England Buccaneers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl atop the shoulders of Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Antonio Brown, and other lesser important players that didn’t come from the Patriots. “WE WON THE SUPERBOWL!” Yelled fans all over New England. “And if you squinted hard enough, it looked like they were wearing Pats ‘Away’ jerseys too. Another banner … [Read more...] about New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl
Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills
Patriots coach Bill Belichick announced today that he continues to dispute the official results of last Sunday’s matchup with the Buffalo Bills. Belichick made the statement during a press conference with reporters from the Boston Herald this morning, held in the parking lot out front of the big Home Depot in Somerville, next to I-93. “These are just preliminary results,” a … [Read more...] about Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills
Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family
With the New England Patriots recording their worst season in nearly 20 years, local Braintree man Mikey Brown has surprisingly found himself getting to know his family. “The Pats have just been good for so long that I haven’t had a lazy Sunday in years. Now I’m looking around and realizing I should probably get to know my kids,” he added. Brown’s children, ages 5 and 9, … [Read more...] about Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family