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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Charlie baker

Finally Free To Be Himself: Charlie Baker Attends Maura Healey’s Inauguration Wearing Lip Ring, Guyliner, Blink-182 Shirt

January 5, 2023 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“Massachusetts, get ready to meet the real Charlie!” yelled the former Governor, blaring “Adam’s Song” from a handheld speaker as he skateboarded away from the TD Garden celebration. “Good luck Governor Healey—I’ll miss yewwwwww (miss yewwwwww)!” … [Read more...] about Finally Free To Be Himself: Charlie Baker Attends Maura Healey’s Inauguration Wearing Lip Ring, Guyliner, Blink-182 Shirt

Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box

December 2, 2021 by Andrew Haskell

QUINCY—To celebrate Governor Charlie Baker’s two terms as head of the Bay State, Dunkin’ Donuts announced today the release of the “Baker’s Dozen”—13 donuts squeezed right in the middle of the box, with none of them falling too far to the right and none of them falling too far to the left. When asked if having so many donuts stuffed square in the center would limit their … [Read more...] about Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box

Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics

December 1, 2021 by The Boston Accent

In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics

Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29

May 19, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Content warning: crude language BOSTON—In an official statement from Beacon Hill, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Massachusetts will host its first annual statewide bacchanalian sex carnival at 100% capacity on May 29. “I am pleased to inform the citizens of Massachusetts that, after a year of hardship, sacrifice, and diligence, they can rip off their masks with … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29

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Recent

  • Bostonians Call Out ‘The Last Of Us’ For Unrealistic Lack Of Zombies Wearing Scally Caps January 26, 2023
  • LEGO Celebrates Moving North American Headquarters To Boston With ‘Big Dig’ Set That Takes 25 Years To Complete January 24, 2023
  • Tom Brady Suffers Early Exit From NFL Playoffs, By Far The Worst Thing To Happen To Him In Past Year January 18, 2023
  • Boston Area Landlord Admits Most Of $3000 Rent Goes Toward Maintaining Ornate Door Frames January 12, 2023

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