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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Sports

City Of Boston Announces October 5 Will Be Celebrated Annually As Gerrit Cole Day

October 6, 2021 by The Boston Accent

In a jubilant ceremony held on the Common, the City of Boston formally announced that October 5, the day the Sox won the AL EAst wildcard game, will hence force be celebrated as Gerrit Cole Day. “We are thrilled to honor our favorite Yankee of all time, Garrit Cole, for decades to come!” announced Mayor Kim Janey. “His unmatched ability to burn through our rival team’s … [Read more...] about City Of Boston Announces October 5 Will Be Celebrated Annually As Gerrit Cole Day

Patriots Dreading Visit From Grandpa Who Retired To Florida

October 3, 2021 by Kevin Lamory

As the Patriots gear up to face the Buccaneers today, former teammates and colleagues of Tom Brady–moved to Florida to settle down in the sun–are resenting his return. “Of course the old snow bird is coming up for the last nice weekend of the season,” said Patriots Linebacker Dont’a Hightower. “Watch, I bet we won’t hear from him again the entire winter.” After 18 years … [Read more...] about Patriots Dreading Visit From Grandpa Who Retired To Florida

Bruins Fan Celebrates Victory Over Capitals By Happily Punching New Hole In Wall

May 24, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“To be fair, if we had lost the series I was gonna punch a hole in the wall too,” said Mickey Porter, grinning ear to ear as he pulled his bruised fist from the drywall. “Punching and hitting stuff is how I express all my emotions.” Porter added that he’s prepping for the second round of the playoffs by purchasing dozens of cheap glasses from the local thrift store, which he … [Read more...] about Bruins Fan Celebrates Victory Over Capitals By Happily Punching New Hole In Wall

Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

April 6, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Medfield dad Douglas Stephens has been overcome by waves of nostalgia while watching his favorite Boston sports teams underperform, just as they did during the formative years of his life. “It’s just like my teenage years in the early 90s—I still fondly remember punching my TV,” reflected Stephens, wiping away a single tear as he turned off the most recent Red Sox … [Read more...] about Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

March 16, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

As the most recent investor in the Fenway Sports Group, which owns the Red Sox, James expanded his ownership of Boston sports teams—after a decade of absolutely owning the Celtics at TD Garden. … [Read more...] about Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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