In an effort to keep the peace this holiday, a Merrimack Valley family has decreed that only this year’s Bruins team and their league-topping record can be discussed at the dinner table this thanksgiving.
“No politics, no current events, just Bruins,” said Johnathan McCree with a crooked smile on his face. “But no mentioning Milan Lucic. Also no Celtics talk. Too divisive. They’re doing good, sure, but the Jays keep blowing it. See, I’m already getting flustered.”
“Also there will be no mention of my-dead-to-me third cousin who bought Nana’s house for a hundred bucks 30 years ago,” said McCree’s wife Patricia. “She just sold that dump for $700,000. Did she share a dime? Nope. None. So no one can speak her name.”
Additionally, the family agreed not to mention who they ran into at Market Basket this week, any global conflicts, America-funded or otherwise, or the family member who thinks they are so great now that they bought a big house in New Hampshire.
Above all, it has been made crystal clear that anyone who mentions the Patriots will be immediately ejected and banned from next year’s event.