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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

National News

Patriots Lose To Bye Week After Late Comeback Falls Short

November 19, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

The New England Patriots were unable to overcome an early deficit after getting off to a slow start against their scheduled bye week on Sunday. Patriots quarterback Mac Jones was seen being berated by offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien following an offensive sequence that ended with Jones throwing an interception, despite the complete absence of any opposing players on the … [Read more...] about Patriots Lose To Bye Week After Late Comeback Falls Short

Salem Residents Brace For Invasion Of Disney Adults

October 3, 2023 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“All of our Disney friends said we need to check out Salem sometime. So we thought, why not October? It’s still cheaper than Epcot!” said Eliza Peaux, dressed as a witch from Hocus Pocus. “These lines are nothing compared to the magic kingdom. Hey look, is that a hidden Mickey on that 1600s gravestone?!” … [Read more...] about Salem Residents Brace For Invasion Of Disney Adults

Move Over, Pumpkin Spice: Polar Releases New “Sam Adams Seasonal” Flavored Seltzer

September 28, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

Polar, the popular Worcester-based seltzer powerhouse, has decided to tap into their New England roots by releasing a new crossover flavor just in time for fall: Sam Adams Seasonal. “What makes these seltzers unique is that they are brewed with grain, hops, yeast, and, of course, carbonated water,” said a Polar spokesperson. Some of you might be asking yourselves, “Is … [Read more...] about Move Over, Pumpkin Spice: Polar Releases New “Sam Adams Seasonal” Flavored Seltzer

Nanas All Over New England Forced To File Bankruptcy After Visiting Christmas Tree Shop Liquidation Sale

July 21, 2023 by Andrew Haskell Leave a Comment

“The tinsel is 75 percent off! Of course I needed to buy 2000 dollars worth at that price,” said one Nana from Attleboro, Mass. “You can never have too much wrapping paper. I should be all set for the next few years,” said another from Scarborough, Maine, filling a U-Haul with 6000 rolls purchased for pennies on the dollar. “I’m over my yearly budget though, so I’ll buy my … [Read more...] about Nanas All Over New England Forced To File Bankruptcy After Visiting Christmas Tree Shop Liquidation Sale

In Honor Of Pride Month, Mark Wahlberg Apologizes To Every Queer Person He Jumped In His Youth

June 30, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

BOSTON—To continue his legacy of apologizing to marginalized groups that he physically slighted throughout his juvenile years, Mark Wahlberg has decided to openly apologize to the LGBTQ+ community. “Like in my movie ‘Joe Bell,’ somebody had to bully that gay kid so a beautiful story could come out of it. I’m sorry that person had to be me, but at least it was someone who … [Read more...] about In Honor Of Pride Month, Mark Wahlberg Apologizes To Every Queer Person He Jumped In His Youth

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