NORTON, MA – Forecasters from the National Cinema Service have warned that we could be due for another Ben Affleck movie any day now. Residents are advised to take precautions to ensure the safety of their homes and streaming services. “The country has experienced multiple major Ben Affleck movies across the past twenty years,” said NCS scientist Dr. Vikesh Sharma, “Most of … [Read more...] about Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now
National News
Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger
“What Kyrie did was inexcusable and my son Jameson will never recover from it,” said the fan outside T.D. Garden, holding his soaking wet child in one hand and smoking a Marlboro with his other. “Trashy behavior from a trashy human being.” … [Read more...] about Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger
‘I’d Tap That,’ Says Vermonter About Maple Tree
Happy Sugaring Season to all who celebrate, you kinky Vermonters. … [Read more...] about ‘I’d Tap That,’ Says Vermonter About Maple Tree
How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines
Real talk is hard. All of the eye contact and opening up—wouldn't it be easier to shoot the shit about inconsequential sports news while you watch the game together? That’s why we're here to help. Do you have some important things you've been waiting to say to your father figure but you're just not great at expressing yourself? Here’s how to tell your dad you love him and … [Read more...] about How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines
Sober St. Patrick’s Day Party Animal Reads Guinness World Records Until They Pass Out
Stone-cold sober party animal Kayden Quinn shocked onlookers this St. Patrick’s Day as he pulled up a barstool at Bukowski’s and proceeded to read the 2022 edition of Guinness World Records until passing out. “Kayden’s a regular – Usually just orders chili and a water without making eye contact,” said bartender Collin Mullen, wiping a pint glass. “But today is St. Paddy’s … [Read more...] about Sober St. Patrick’s Day Party Animal Reads Guinness World Records Until They Pass Out