• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

National News

AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

August 7, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“I was haphazardly placed in a sidewalk-facing 2nd story window by my master for this exact purpose, I can feel it deep down in my freon,” said the bløødthirsty hardware. “One day I will smoosh one, and I hope they are from Wisconsin.” … [Read more...] about AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’

June 24, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“How was I supposed to know this would happen? It was truly unforeseeable. Brett seemed so sweet and as a Mainer, I only see the good in people.” … [Read more...] about Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’

Rising Gas Prices Force Mainers To Switch To Moxie As Fuel

June 2, 2022 by Matt McInerney

Did you know that unleaded Moxie, while incredibly toxic, is 5x more powerful as a vehicle fueling agent than gasoline? Well, Mainers did! That’s why they’re buying the soda in bulk and filling up their trucks with it. Go get some while you still can! Results may vary. We claim no liability for any damages. … [Read more...] about Rising Gas Prices Force Mainers To Switch To Moxie As Fuel

Celtics Prepare For NBA Finals While Lakers Remind You To Check Out ‘Winning Time’

May 30, 2022 by Matt McInerney

After a crucial Game 7 victory over the Miami Heat, the Boston Celtics are headed back to the NBA finals for the first time since 2010. The team will now face the Golden State Warriors as they push for their 18th championship title. Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Lakers, who didn’t even make the playoffs, are curious if you’ve seen ‘Winning Time’ yet. President of the Los … [Read more...] about Celtics Prepare For NBA Finals While Lakers Remind You To Check Out ‘Winning Time’

Connecticut Legislature Approves $40 Million New Haven-Style Pizza Awareness Campaign

May 26, 2022 by Dan Bookbinder

HARTFORD, CT—On May 26, Governor Ned Lamont and a bipartisan group of legislators announced a once-in-a-generation investment to inform the broader public about the importance of New Haven-style pizza. The coal-fired pizza has long been celebrated in pockets of New England, but Senate Bill 5052 seeks to amplify the cultural impact of New Haven-style pizza beyond the … [Read more...] about Connecticut Legislature Approves $40 Million New Haven-Style Pizza Awareness Campaign

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...