BEVERLY, MA—A Beverly Farms native got a rude awakening this Christmas when he realized the sole purpose of his family’s holiday invitation was so he could assist his mother with her phone. “Going home for the holidays used to be an every other year thing. But now that my parents struggle with new technology, they constantly want me to visit,” said Mark Brennan. … [Read more...] about Man Suspects Only Reason He Was Invited Home For Christmas Is To Close Apps On Mom’s Phone
National News
Circles Of Hell In Dante’s Inferno Translated Into Orange Line Train Wait Times
1st Circle: Limbo Hey guy, I know these circles. I’ve been riding the Orange Line alone since I was a kid. What’s ya name? Oh, Virgil, that had to be tough growing up. I’m fine. I don’t need a guide down here. How long could limbo be? Nice red shirt though. Go find someone else with a question. 2nd Circle: Lust Whoa that new train has some nice looking cars. I … [Read more...] about Circles Of Hell In Dante’s Inferno Translated Into Orange Line Train Wait Times
Fourth Bartender In A Row Pours Royals’ Drink Orders Directly Into Boston Harbor
“Ha, quite humorous indeed, thank you for the chuckle,” said the Princess of Wales, who still hasn’t been served since she arrived in Boston. … [Read more...] about Fourth Bartender In A Row Pours Royals’ Drink Orders Directly Into Boston Harbor
How To Protest Dunkin’s New Rewards System While Still Drinking Dunkin’ Every Day
So you’re pissed about the Dunkin’ Rewards app, huh? Join the club, buddy. Here are some ways you can stick it to ‘em while still being clinically dependent on their caffeine: … [Read more...] about How To Protest Dunkin’s New Rewards System While Still Drinking Dunkin’ Every Day
‘What Turkey Shortage?’ Asks Local Woman Cleaning Feathers From Her Car Grill
After an outbreak of bird flu wreaked havoc on poultry farms over the past year, causing notable shortages of turkey, many have wondered whether the Thanksgiving staple would make it to the shelves this year. Not Erika Stauss, though. “I dunno what the heck you’re talking about,” said the Quincy resident, standing in the parking lot of Shaw’s picking feathers out of the … [Read more...] about ‘What Turkey Shortage?’ Asks Local Woman Cleaning Feathers From Her Car Grill