1st Circle: Limbo
Hey guy, I know these circles. I’ve been riding the Orange Line alone since I was a kid. What’s ya name? Oh, Virgil, that had to be tough growing up. I’m fine. I don’t need a guide down here. How long could limbo be? Nice red shirt though. Go find someone else with a question.
2nd Circle: Lust
Whoa that new train has some nice looking cars. I wish they were over here on my side instead of heading out of the city. My arrival time says 20+ minutes. It is ok. Those seats look sleek. Can a train be considered sexy? I’m down here anyway. I’m just looking, no touching. I’ll keep the new cars clean.
3rd Circle: Gluttony
Hey Virgil, you know what? I smell some sausage peppers, onions cooking up there in Downtown Crossing somewhere. I’d do just about anything for a bite, but I can’t miss this train. Can you run and grab me a sub? Take the stairs because the escalators aren’t working. How about grabbing me an iced medium regular from Dunks, too? Hell, get one for yourself, on me. I swear on my Dunkin’ Rewards, I’ll Venmo you.
4th Circle: Avarice & Prodigality
I will lie across as many seats as I can when I finally catch a train. I deserve it. I’ve been waiting 16 minutes. I will use a seat for my backpack, too. Go ahead, stop me. I dare you.
5th Circle: Wrath & Sullenness
If this friggin train doesn’t get here soon, someone is hearing from me. I’ll tweet them all. All day. I’ll @charlie. I’m not scared. I might drop this sausage right on a new seat. Actually, I’ll need every bite. I should save some. I’m punching someone though.
6th Circle: Heresy
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, there is no god in the sky who would let this happen. This is the work of Satan. There is no explanation in holy hell for this much time to pass. I will not light candles before the game on Sunday. I will put nothing in that collection basket. I don’t even have to go to confession ever again. See ya, Father McO’Shanty! No more bland wafers for me. This public transportation “system” has destroyed my faith. We are all demons out for ourselves.
7th Circle: Violence
I’m demolishing this place. I smite this underground hell. I’m smearing sausage grease on the windows and I’m cursing the day that Virgil kid was born. I will rip every seat from its Springfield screwed-in spot with my bare hands.
8th Circle: Fraud
It is all a lie. This is just a hole in the ground where a train used to be when Lechmere was a store.
9th Circle: Treachery
I hate this city. I am buying a Yankees hat if I ever get outta here. Do you hear me Virgil? Slap your parents from me. They gave you a stupid name. I bet they like riding the Orange Line.