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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Man Preps For Reopening Of Bars By Lighting $100 On Fire, Spilling Half His Drinks On Floor

July 23, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I’m so pumped that nightlife might be opening up soon—I really miss bar-hopping in Kendall Square,” said 28-year-old Jeff Torres, who typically spent his evenings out jostling through packed dance floors to buy $15 gin and tonics. "Drinking at home is so boring and efficient." Torres says he's also been practicing calling Ubers after blacking out, formerly a regular … [Read more...] about Man Preps For Reopening Of Bars By Lighting $100 On Fire, Spilling Half His Drinks On Floor

Actual Maine Town Way Creepier Than Any Described In Stephen King Novel

July 23, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I’ve read every book King wrote—he loves to set them in fictional New England towns,” said horror fan Bradley Shepherd. “But rural Maine is far more terrifying than anything I’ve ever seen or read before. Never, ever go there.” … [Read more...] about Actual Maine Town Way Creepier Than Any Described In Stephen King Novel

Safety Win! American Airlines Books Plane So Full, Coronavirus Can’t Even Fit

July 23, 2020 by The Boston Accent

"The health and safety of our passengers is always our number one priority," said airline spokesperson Pamela Green. "That's why we are stuffing our cabins to the brim with people, so there is no remaining space for the virus." … [Read more...] about Safety Win! American Airlines Books Plane So Full, Coronavirus Can’t Even Fit

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020 by The Boston Accent

STATE HOUSE, BOSTON--In an unexpected but, honestly, totally valid move, Commonwealth legislators announced on Monday they are "actively considering" changing the name of Massachusetts to Boston. "No one from outside New England can name a single place in Massachusetts besides Boston--so why don't we just lean into that?" said one lawmaker, who lives in Medford but tells all … [Read more...] about Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

Local Mom Running Desperately Low On Bullshit Activities To Entertain Kids

July 22, 2020 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“I’m already out of ideas and it’s barely July,” said Angela Lenner, who spent the afternoon fingerpainting, scootering, and doing yoga with her 5-year-old daughter Lacey. Lenner says tomorrow she’ll probably just give Lacey her phone. … [Read more...] about Local Mom Running Desperately Low On Bullshit Activities To Entertain Kids

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
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  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

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