“Dude, I could totally jump clear over that shopping cart,” said 26-year-old Brad Poisano, an unemployed North End resident who was recently kicked off his parent’s insurance.
“Just hold my Dunks and watch.”
At press time, a concussed Poisano was seen attempting to call an Uber to Boston Medical Center after learning how much an ambulance ride costs.
Written by Justin Kaplan. Follow Justin on twitter @jus_kap