“I actually started the winter parking hunt on Halloween by seeing which neighbors give out what,” explained Fred Ferreiro of Fall River. “The full size candy bar givers are people that will dig out a spot, but they’ll also call the cops. I was on the lookout for people that gave out handfuls because they’re responsible enough to be stocked up but also pushovers.” … [Read more...] about Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal
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Archaeologists In 2087 Discover Long Lost Neighborhood Of Seaport
“I grew up hearing stories about a mythical luxury district destroyed by flooding, but never thought it really existed,” said lead aquatic excavator Moira Sanchez, flipping through underwater photos of a dilapidated club once called The Grand. “The site is impeccably preserved—We even found a pair of Sperrys still stained with what we think is Sam Adams Winter Lager.” … [Read more...] about Archaeologists In 2087 Discover Long Lost Neighborhood Of Seaport
Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box
QUINCY—To celebrate Governor Charlie Baker’s two terms as head of the Bay State, Dunkin’ Donuts announced today the release of the “Baker’s Dozen”—13 donuts squeezed right in the middle of the box, with none of them falling too far to the right and none of them falling too far to the left. When asked if having so many donuts stuffed square in the center would limit their … [Read more...] about Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box
Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
Goy Vey! “Jewish” Friend Can’t Remember What Night Of Hanukkah It Is
It’s literally night 1, Lauren. Doesn’t your iPhone tell you that? You know, the one your parents bought you last year…for Hanukkah. … [Read more...] about Goy Vey! “Jewish” Friend Can’t Remember What Night Of Hanukkah It Is