• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now

April 30, 2022 by audreyvclark

NORTON, MA – Forecasters from the National Cinema Service have warned that we could be due for another Ben Affleck movie any day now. Residents are advised to take precautions to ensure the safety of their homes and streaming services. “The country has experienced multiple major Ben Affleck movies across the past twenty years,” said NCS scientist Dr. Vikesh Sharma, “Most of … [Read more...] about Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now

Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger

April 18, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“What Kyrie did was inexcusable and my son Jameson will never recover from it,” said the fan outside T.D. Garden, holding his soaking wet child in one hand and smoking a Marlboro with his other. “Trashy behavior from a trashy human being.” … [Read more...] about Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“Today I wanted to see what it felt like to just be treated like everyone else. So I put on my Golden Goose sneakers, grabbed my Hermès backpack, and left my Harvard pullover at home. Honestly, it’s been scary but sort of freeing.” Sources say the student eventually put on a Harvard hat she carries for emergencies after someone cut her in line at Tatte. … [Read more...] about Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

April 2, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

“You’ve already said more than enough, Grampa. Let’s get you back to bed. The Celtics are doing just fine.” … [Read more...] about Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

‘I’d Tap That,’ Says Vermonter About Maple Tree

March 31, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Happy Sugaring Season to all who celebrate, you kinky Vermonters. … [Read more...] about ‘I’d Tap That,’ Says Vermonter About Maple Tree

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Sports

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

College

‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

February 1, 2024

National

Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston

March 14, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...