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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Kyle Duggan

Congrats On Getting Into Your Dream School In Western Mass! Here’s How Far It Is From Anything Interesting

April 3, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

It’s one of the most exciting and nerve-racking times of the year: college acceptance season! If you’re among the many incoming students to one of Western Massachusetts’ renowned institutions of higher education, this handy guide will tell you just how far you’ll have to travel in order to escape the intense boredom endemic to this region. UMass Amherst Frankly, UMass is … [Read more...] about Congrats On Getting Into Your Dream School In Western Mass! Here’s How Far It Is From Anything Interesting

All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

March 11, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

“FanDuel was running all these new promos this week to celebrate Massachusetts legalizing sports betting. They were too good to pass up!” explained the Governor, visibly ashamed and shaking. “Next this I knew, I’d blown hundreds of millions on a 10 leg Red Sox parlay bet. All UMass schools are hereby closed indefinitely until I win it all back on Australian horse racing at … [Read more...] about All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

How To Avoid Paying Pike Tolls By Driving Without Tags

February 8, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

We all know how frustrating it is to hop on the Pike and realize that you forgot to borrow your cousin’s EZPass again. Gone are the carefree days where it would take the state a couple years to track you down. Now, it’s just a matter of months, and you can only ignore those fines for so long before they suspend your license. Luckily, there’s one easy trick that’ll let you drive … [Read more...] about How To Avoid Paying Pike Tolls By Driving Without Tags

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

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  • Brown University Study Finds American English And Warwick English No Longer Mutually Intelligible September 23, 2023
  • Environmentalists Warn Cape Cod Will Be 90% Mini Golf Courses By 2045 August 29, 2023
  • Nanas All Over New England Forced To File Bankruptcy After Visiting Christmas Tree Shop Liquidation Sale July 21, 2023
  • In Honor Of Pride Month, Mark Wahlberg Apologizes To Every Queer Person He Jumped In His Youth June 30, 2023

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