In a study published this week, Harvard researchers reported more than 8 in 10 Bostonians are sick of pretending they like Sam Adams or any of its products. Yet when interviewed by The Boston Accent, most of the participants lied right to our fucking face. “Boston Lager tastes amazing, and I’m not just saying that,” said 28-year-old study participant and lying asshat Pete … [Read more...] about Study Finds Worst Part Of Living In Boston Is Having To Pretend You Like Samuel Adams
“Boston Is Not Racist,” Says White Man Who’s Afraid To Visit Dorchester
“I’ve just heard Dorchester is a dangerous place, that’s all,” said Tim Mayor, who has lived in Seaport for three years and has never taken the T for fear of getting mugged. “But that doesn’t make me racist—I almost voted for Ayanna Pressley!” … [Read more...] about “Boston Is Not Racist,” Says White Man Who’s Afraid To Visit Dorchester
Northeastern Student Finally Finishes 10-Year-Long Co-op
“I wanted to take my time and make sure I did the co-op thing right. Experiential learning is all about experiencing, y’know?” The 31-year-old , who was laid off from his decade long unpaid internship due to the coronavirus pandemic, says he’s excited to graduate into a recession just like his classmates did in 2010. … [Read more...] about Northeastern Student Finally Finishes 10-Year-Long Co-op
Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts
“I was really hoping for a lighter sentence, maybe at an upstate institution like Cornell,” said Jason Delano, whose only crime was getting a 3 on his AP chemistry exam. “Hopefully they will let me out early for good behavior.” … [Read more...] about Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts
“Live, Laugh, Love” Sign Mocking You More Each Day
BOSTON, MA—Krista McMullen, a recent college graduate, stares at the sign with snowballing insanity, “I literally can’t.” The sign sits above the couch in her basement studio. “At first I thought it was cute. Now it’s just a daily reminder of how awful the world is.” At press time, sources indicate Krista was seen drinking from a mug that said "Hang in there.” Written … [Read more...] about “Live, Laugh, Love” Sign Mocking You More Each Day