• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

The Boston Accent

Gordon Hayward Misses Mark With Protest Jersey About Gaming

July 31, 2020 by The Boston Accent

As his Celtics teammates wore jerseys sporting uplifting messages of protest like “Black Lives Matter,” “Equality,” and “Liberation” during the NBA season restart, Hayward used his platform to express strong opinions about video games. “I’m a huge gamer, and I don’t think Americans talk enough about how superior Fortnite is to Call of Duty Warzone,” said the NBA player … [Read more...] about Gordon Hayward Misses Mark With Protest Jersey About Gaming

Study Finds Worst Part Of Living In Boston Is Having To Pretend You Like Samuel Adams

July 30, 2020 by The Boston Accent

In a study published this week, Harvard researchers reported more than 8 in 10 Bostonians are sick of pretending they like Sam Adams or any of its products. Yet when interviewed by The Boston Accent, most of the participants lied right to our fucking face. “Boston Lager tastes amazing, and I’m not just saying that,” said 28-year-old study participant and lying asshat Pete … [Read more...] about Study Finds Worst Part Of Living In Boston Is Having To Pretend You Like Samuel Adams

“Boston Is Not Racist,” Says White Man Who’s Afraid To Visit Dorchester

July 30, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I’ve just heard Dorchester is a dangerous place, that’s all,” said Tim Mayor, who has lived in Seaport for three years and has never taken the T for fear of getting mugged. “But that doesn’t make me racist—I almost voted for Ayanna Pressley!” … [Read more...] about “Boston Is Not Racist,” Says White Man Who’s Afraid To Visit Dorchester

Northeastern Student Finally Finishes 10-Year-Long Co-op

July 29, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I wanted to take my time and make sure I did the co-op thing right. Experiential learning is all about experiencing, y’know?” The 31-year-old , who was laid off from his decade long unpaid internship due to the coronavirus pandemic, says he’s excited to graduate into a recession just like his classmates did in 2010. … [Read more...] about Northeastern Student Finally Finishes 10-Year-Long Co-op

Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts

July 29, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I was really hoping for a lighter sentence, maybe at an upstate institution like Cornell,” said Jason Delano, whose only crime was getting a 3 on his AP chemistry exam. “Hopefully they will let me out early for good behavior.” … [Read more...] about Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag August 29, 2025
  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...