“It’s heartbreaking. You think you know a guy after a decade of marriage, and then they ruin it all in a moment,” said Heather Santerini, a diehard Celtics fan now strongly considering divorce. “We’ve literally watched hundreds of NBA games together—was he ever paying attention? Is he even from here? I don’t know what to believe anymore.” … [Read more...] about Time To Divorce? Husband Of 10 Years Just Pronounced Celtics With Hard C
School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation. “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
EXCLUSIVE: Ed Markey Regrets Decision To Be Old
Admitting that he “made a big mistake,” Senate incumbent Ed Markey apologized to Massachusetts voters this week for “choosing to be old.” “When my campaign and I decided I would be born in 1946, we didn’t foresee the immense impact it would have on this Senate primary,” said Markey at a press conference on Thursday. “I can only hope the great people of Massachusetts can … [Read more...] about EXCLUSIVE: Ed Markey Regrets Decision To Be Old
Parents Terrified To Find Teen Experimenting With Street Drug “Venmo“
NEEDHAM—We sat down with Pam and Mark Brewster, who recounted the harrowing details of their son’s crippling addiction to a drug called Venmo. “Our 20-year-old Jack sends his friends money for Venmo almost every day,” said Pam Brewster, sniffling into a tissue. These crazy kids even have an app to track how much Venmo they’re injecting.“ “We just wish he would talk to us … [Read more...] about Parents Terrified To Find Teen Experimenting With Street Drug “Venmo“
Biden Campaign Office Installs Cushions On All Desks To Protect Staffer Foreheads
“Our patent-pending Biden Gaffe Cushions® help soften the blow to our staff’s heads as they smash repeatedly against hard surfaces whenever Joe opens his mouth,” said a campaign representative. “We are also trialing cushions for their palms. We hope to sell both of these lifesaving products on our website very soon, so that disappointed Democrats everywhere can enjoy them!” … [Read more...] about Biden Campaign Office Installs Cushions On All Desks To Protect Staffer Foreheads