"I may be five foot six, but my hair is fucking fantastic," said 31-year-old short guy Jason Cohen to himself in the mirror during his daily affirmation this morning. Cohen is the shortest one in his friend group, but also the only guy with a non-receding hairline, not to mention flowing, wavy locks that perfectly frame his face. "Life is going pretty okay for you, … [Read more...] about Short Guy Just Happy He Has Nice Hair
Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River
The star Celtics player, whose crucial block late in the fourth quarter murdered any chance of a Toronto championship repeat, said it was an honor to dispose of the Raptors remains into Boston's largest trash repository. … [Read more...] about Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River
Tufts University Buys Pornhub Premium For Every Freshman To Keep Students In Dorms
In a move experts are calling “totally weird but kind of necessary,” Tufts University announced this week that they will be purchasing every first year student a Pornhub Premium account, intended to “keep them occupied for a while” so they don’t party. “As an administration, our reopening plan is comprehensive and places student safety at its core,” said a school … [Read more...] about Tufts University Buys Pornhub Premium For Every Freshman To Keep Students In Dorms
Time To Divorce? Husband Of 10 Years Just Pronounced Celtics With Hard C
“It’s heartbreaking. You think you know a guy after a decade of marriage, and then they ruin it all in a moment,” said Heather Santerini, a diehard Celtics fan now strongly considering divorce. “We’ve literally watched hundreds of NBA games together—was he ever paying attention? Is he even from here? I don’t know what to believe anymore.” … [Read more...] about Time To Divorce? Husband Of 10 Years Just Pronounced Celtics With Hard C
School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation. “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”