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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

The Boston Accent

New Yorkers And New Englanders Agree: Connecticut Sucks

September 30, 2021 by The Boston Accent

While people from New York and New England rarely find common ground, there is one area that unites the regions in mutual hatred: the state of Connecticut. “I would rather live in a dumpster than move to Hartford or Stamford, forget about it,” said Bronx resident Louis DeJulio. “I don’t even care if the fancy people there like the Yankees.” “I hear ya dude, we don’t claim … [Read more...] about New Yorkers And New Englanders Agree: Connecticut Sucks

Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch

September 27, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Fall is officially here! This morning, a bus full of flatlander passengers doing nothing but looking out the window managed to miss the myriad warnings that their leaf peeping tour bus would not make the tight turns of Smugglers Notch. Thankfully, after only 5 hours the bus was freed and soon became the problem of New York State. The oblivious passengers were reportedly … [Read more...] about Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch

Touching: BC And BU Students Bond Over Mutual Hatred Of Harvard Students

September 18, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“Eagles and Terriers don’t normally get along. But we will happily join forces to destroy Pilgrims,” explain a BC student. … [Read more...] about Touching: BC And BU Students Bond Over Mutual Hatred Of Harvard Students

Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election

September 13, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BOSTON—Recent polling results suggest that citizens of Boston are increasingly worried about the startling lack of blah, noncommittal white men running for mayor in this year’s election. In a historic first for the city, the mayoral race includes approximately zero confused-looking middle-aged white dudes spouting nonsense and palaver. Reports suggest many voters are … [Read more...] about Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election

Unvaccinated Cam Newton Gets First Dose Of Reality

August 31, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Sources say he’s expected to get some booster doses of reality in coming months too! … [Read more...] about Unvaccinated Cam Newton Gets First Dose Of Reality

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

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