• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Jack Stebbins

Boston Department Of Transportation Brings Out Zambonis To Ensure Road Ice Is Perfectly Smooth

December 18, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

“We want our city streets to be so slick and sleek, the Bruins could practice on them,” said DOT representative Dana Lewis. … [Read more...] about Boston Department Of Transportation Brings Out Zambonis To Ensure Road Ice Is Perfectly Smooth

Universal Studios Announces “16 Candles” Reboot About Celebrating Hanukkah With Divorced Parents

December 10, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

It’s a holiday miracle! Universal Studios has announced a reboot of the 80’s classic “Sixteen Candles”. But this time, the coming-of-age film will follow a young Jewish girl as she endures the eight nights of Hanukkah with her recently divorced parents. Lighting one menorah over and over and over is already exhausting--just imagine doing it all twice, with parents who hate each … [Read more...] about Universal Studios Announces “16 Candles” Reboot About Celebrating Hanukkah With Divorced Parents

Shop Local! I Bought My Amazon Gift Cards At This Adorable Mom And Pop Shop

November 30, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

If you care about small businesses like I do, please do your Amazon gift card shopping at local establishments. They need your support now more than ever! You can even use the gift cards to buy items online for cheaper than the shop sells them in the store. Win win! … [Read more...] about Shop Local! I Bought My Amazon Gift Cards At This Adorable Mom And Pop Shop

Trillions Of Trump Supporters Protest For An Accurate Count

November 14, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

WASHINGTON, DC — Trillions of Trump supporters have marched on Washington D.C. demanding an accurate count of the Presidential election. The protest is approximated to be largest gathering of humans ever, and the crowd is united over one goal: to make sure that every legal vote in the presidential election is correctly quantified. “The 2.3 trillion of us only want one … [Read more...] about Trillions Of Trump Supporters Protest For An Accurate Count

Nation Unsure What To Do With Encyclopedic Knowledge Of Pennsylvania Counties

November 7, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

Following 96 straight hours of election coverage, the citizens of the United States are now unsure what to do with their newfound encyclopedic knowledge of every county in the state of Pennsylvania. Since Tuesday, news outlets across the nation have provided a 24/7 crash course on the detailed geography of the Keystone State. Americans have devoured mountains of data about … [Read more...] about Nation Unsure What To Do With Encyclopedic Knowledge Of Pennsylvania Counties

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston

March 14, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

February 1, 2024

National

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...