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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

38 Adorable New England-Inspired Names For The Mice Your Landlord Won’t Do Anything About

November 17, 2022 by Dan Bookbinder Leave a Comment

Medford, MA – So you’ve got mice. You’ve tried traps, poisons, exterminators, locking up food, plugging up holes with steel wool, and even asking them very nicely to leave, but nothing is keeping their numbers down.

Your landlord, whose name you don’t even know, has already committed to doing nothing about them. You’ve tried calling 311, but she’s paid them off. You’re left with no solutions. The only option is to live in peace with your animal brethren. So you might as well name them! 

Here are some cute New England-themed name options to consider for your seemingly permanent murine pals.

Athletes

  1. Cedric Maxwell – He ate my cornbread
  2. Paul Pierce – He’s cool and all the other mice seem to respect him a lot
  3. Big Papi – Large, intimidating, and appears to have three rings on his paw
  4. Mousecus Smart – He’s got so much hustle and likes to flop around

Mascots (or Mousecots)

  1. Minute-mouse – Always in and out of the pantry in a flash
  2. Providence Friar – He has a bald spot on top of his head
  3. UConn Husky – He’s a little heavyset
  4. Jumbo the Elephant – He’s heavyset and has a big snout
  5. Blades the Bruin – He’s heavyset and looks like a tiny brown bear
  6. Wally – He lives in the walls
  7. C dog – She lives in the ceiling
  8. Hartford Wailer – He’s loud, but everyone forgets about him
  9. Fenway Frank – His tail looks like a hot dog

Literary

  1. Jack Torrats (RIP) – Froze to death
  2. Pennywise – Lives in the sewer
  3. Salem – Jet black and lives in the abandoned lot next door
  4. Carrie – Always covered in blood

Celebrities and notable figures

  1. Elizabeth Warren – Our favorite mouse, shares food with smaller mice, and should be their leader but isn’t for some reason
  2. Robert Kraft – He eats tons of cheese and craves human touch
  3. Ben Ratfleck – Handsome, as far as rodents go
  4. Rat Damon – Slightly less handsome, as far as rodents go, but always confused for Ben Ratfleck
  5. Ted Kennedy – Has a giant head
  6. Jack Kennedy (RIP) – We will let you infer what happened to his head
  7. Chappaquiddick “Chip” (RIP) – “Accidentally” drowned

Places:

  1. Pawtucket 
  2. Mousechester
  3. New Hampster
  4. Vermonteray Jack – She only eats Cabot cheese
  5. Dunkies – Orange fur with a bright pink nose
  6. Wound Socket (RIP) – Electrocuted
  7. Rhody – Small and loud
  8. Quincy – Always just outside the room
  9. Southie – Missing left paw 
  10. Foxburrow – Not a mouse, just the fox that lives in our backyard

Musicians

  1. Mighty Mighty Mousetone – He just dances around
  2. Powermouse 5000 – Has spiky hair
  3. Dropkick Murphy – Only shows up on St. Patrick’s Day
  4. Marky Mouse – Attacks mice who look different from him and somehow suffers no repercussions

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Filed Under: National News Tagged With: boston, mice, New England

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