• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Support Us
  • New! Buy Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

City Of Somerville Rocked By Something Genuinely Fun To Do

July 13, 2022 by The Boston Accent

SOMERVILLE, MA—Local residents were shocked to learn this week that something actually exciting—NICE, a fest—is taking place exclusively in Somerville July 28-31: Not in Cambridge, or Allston, or Fenway, but in Somerville.

“Most of the time I head out to see friends or to a show, I gotta schlep to meet people like an hour away, since no one wants to visit me here for some reason,” said Davis Square resident Linden Monsa.

“Seeing Boston bands like Future Teens at NICE is the only thing that could convince my friends to ride the red line a few extra stops past Central. That and the Grillo’s Pickles cocktails we heard they’re serving at the fest. Boston Calling was really missing pickles.”

While most Somervillians were jazzed for the fest, which features four days of music, a vendor market, and even midnight showings of Wayne’s World at Somerville Theatre, others weren’t sure what the hype was about.

“What’s wrong with PorchFest? Was that not cool enough already?” Exclaimed one homeowner who asked not to be named. Sure, it may be over already and Speedy Ortiz didn’t play there, but do we really need more affordable fun in Somerville?”

At press time, you were seen using promo code BAHSTON to get 10% off tickets to NICE, a fest.

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: Culture, Local Tagged With: boston, music, NICE a fest, Somerville, Sponsored content

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020

AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

August 7, 2022

Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means

August 4, 2022

MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line

August 3, 2022

Sports

A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals

June 19, 2022

College

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022

National

Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’

June 24, 2022

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here.

Recent

  • Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’ August 9, 2022
  • AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist August 7, 2022
  • Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means August 4, 2022
  • MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line August 3, 2022

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2022 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes