SOMERVILLE, MA—Local residents were shocked to learn this week that something actually exciting—NICE, a fest—is taking place exclusively in Somerville July 28-31: Not in Cambridge, or Allston, or Fenway, but in Somerville.
“Most of the time I head out to see friends or to a show, I gotta schlep to meet people like an hour away, since no one wants to visit me here for some reason,” said Davis Square resident Linden Monsa.
“Seeing Boston bands like Future Teens at NICE is the only thing that could convince my friends to ride the red line a few extra stops past Central. That and the Grillo’s Pickles cocktails we heard they’re serving at the fest. Boston Calling was really missing pickles.”
While most Somervillians were jazzed for the fest, which features four days of music, a vendor market, and even midnight showings of Wayne’s World at Somerville Theatre, others weren’t sure what the hype was about.
“What’s wrong with PorchFest? Was that not cool enough already?” Exclaimed one homeowner who asked not to be named. Sure, it may be over already and Speedy Ortiz didn’t play there, but do we really need more affordable fun in Somerville?”
At press time, you were seen using promo code BAHSTON to get 10% off tickets to NICE, a fest.