“FanDuel was running all these new promos this week to celebrate Massachusetts legalizing sports betting. They were too good to pass up!” explained the Governor, visibly ashamed and shaking. “Next this I knew, I’d blown hundreds of millions on a 10 leg Red Sox parlay bet. All UMass schools are hereby closed indefinitely until I win it all back on Australian horse racing at … [Read more...] about All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay
Sports
Bruins In Spectacular Position To Disappoint Fans In Playoffs
“We’ve worked so hard this year—and it would be a shame if we finished the job and won the Stanley Cup,” said head coach Jim Montgomery. “We would love to maintain that recent Boston sports excellence of getting so close to a championship but squandering it right at the finish line. With great seasons come great disappointments, and I think we’re in a perfect position for … [Read more...] about Bruins In Spectacular Position To Disappoint Fans In Playoffs
Tom Brady Suffers Early Exit From NFL Playoffs, By Far The Worst Thing To Happen To Him In Past Year
“This year has been rocky. The one thing I live for—spending time with the only love of my life—has ended. But luckily there’s always next season,” said Brady. “This is my family we’re talking about, and it’s a true travesty that we couldn’t make it to the next round of this tournament. I feel divorced from reality.” … [Read more...] about Tom Brady Suffers Early Exit From NFL Playoffs, By Far The Worst Thing To Happen To Him In Past Year
Brad Stevens Reportedly Furious With Ime Udoka Once Somebody Explained To Him What Sex Is
“That doesn’t even sound close to as fun as coaching basketball! In fact, it sounds messy. It’s also clearly a technical.” … [Read more...] about Brad Stevens Reportedly Furious With Ime Udoka Once Somebody Explained To Him What Sex Is
Pats Win After Gunner Olszewski Muffs Punt To Other Gunner Olszewski
Also we just beat the team that beat the team that was in the super bowl last year, so that's basically winning the afc championship right? … [Read more...] about Pats Win After Gunner Olszewski Muffs Punt To Other Gunner Olszewski