You may be thinking: "I live in a tiny studio in Back Bay. If an apocalyptic civil war breaks out after election day, I'm totally screwed." Well, you couldn't be more wrong! Here are five tried and true tips that will help you repurpose your cozy apartment for the dark days ahead. Use the lack of elevator to your advantage. There is no way your dinky little dwelling has … [Read more...] about Five Tips For Turning Your 300-Square-Foot Apartment Into A Post-Election Apocalypse Bunker
National News
Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family
With the New England Patriots recording their worst season in nearly 20 years, local Braintree man Mikey Brown has surprisingly found himself getting to know his family. “The Pats have just been good for so long that I haven’t had a lazy Sunday in years. Now I’m looking around and realizing I should probably get to know my kids,” he added. Brown’s children, ages 5 and 9, … [Read more...] about Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family
Mitch McConnell Hurls Amy Coney Barrett Through Glass Ceiling
“No one can deny I am a feminist now,” said McConnell, wiping shards of glass from his blazer. … [Read more...] about Mitch McConnell Hurls Amy Coney Barrett Through Glass Ceiling
Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick
With warm weather behind us, Fred Smith of Harwich is in hot water, as his friends have started to remember he’s actually a total tool. “Now that it’s too cold for him to take us out on his boat every weekend, I’m honestly not sure what he’s bringing to the friend group,” says Andrew Grant, a seasonal buddy of Smith’s. “All he ever talks about is his high school hockey … [Read more...] about Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick
Maine Oyster Farmers Struggle To Meet Susan Collins’ Pearl-Clutching Demands
What began as a boon for the Maine oyster industry has quickly soured as the demand for pearls that Senator Susan Collins can clutch has far exceeded supply. "When Senator Collins was attacked for her response to Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination, we knew she'd be calling us for a necklace’s worth of clutching pearls," said Jim Daniels of the Maine Oyster Farmers … [Read more...] about Maine Oyster Farmers Struggle To Meet Susan Collins’ Pearl-Clutching Demands