BOSTON, MA—After swiftly stuffing 78 joints into his dresser before the RA came in for room inspection, Emerson junior Codey Sherman officially broke the world record for most banana kush pre-rolls shoved in a single sock drawer. “I am incredibly proud of Codey. She truly embodies all of the qualities we look for in an Emerson student: ingenuity, perseverance, and of course, … [Read more...] about Impressive! Emerson Junior Breaks World Record For Most Banana Kush Pre-Rolls Shoved In One Sock Drawer
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As Expected: New England Wins Yet Another Competition
We really are the BEST at everything, huh? Surprised New Hampshire made the cut though. Maybe we need to ask for a recount… … [Read more...] about As Expected: New England Wins Yet Another Competition
Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions
This time last year, Bobby Sullivan didn’t know a lick of code, calmness, or Buddhist dharma teachings. He didn’t know much of anything, for that matter. Before last month, his most reliable source of stress relief was cursing out Yankees fans after drunken nights in Fenway. But after punching countless holes in his condo’s drywall during the stressful pandemic … [Read more...] about Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions
Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms
Medfield dad Douglas Stephens has been overcome by waves of nostalgia while watching his favorite Boston sports teams underperform, just as they did during the formative years of his life. “It’s just like my teenage years in the early 90s—I still fondly remember punching my TV,” reflected Stephens, wiping away a single tear as he turned off the most recent Red Sox … [Read more...] about Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms
Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC
He may have been confirmed as Labor Secretary just a week ago, but Marty Walsh is wasting no time increasing employment in his new city. Amazingly, he’s already DOUBLED the staff at the Dunkin’ closest to his DC office! “This guy must drink like 20 iced coffees a day, he’s in here every hour and always ordering complicated stuff I didn’t even know we made. I can barely keep … [Read more...] about Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC