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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Local

Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

April 2, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

“You’ve already said more than enough, Grampa. Let’s get you back to bed. The Celtics are doing just fine.” … [Read more...] about Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines

March 20, 2022 by Matt McInerney

Real talk is hard. All of the eye contact and opening up—wouldn't it be easier to shoot the shit about inconsequential sports news while you watch the game together? That’s why we're here to help. Do you have some important things you've been waiting to say to your father figure but you're just not great at expressing yourself? Here’s how to tell your dad you love him and … [Read more...] about How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines

Sober St. Patrick’s Day Party Animal Reads Guinness World Records Until They Pass Out

March 17, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Stone-cold sober party animal Kayden Quinn shocked onlookers this St. Patrick’s Day as he pulled up a barstool at Bukowski’s and proceeded to read the 2022 edition of Guinness World Records until passing out. “Kayden’s a regular – Usually just orders chili and a water without making eye contact,” said bartender Collin Mullen, wiping a pint glass. “But today is St. Paddy’s … [Read more...] about Sober St. Patrick’s Day Party Animal Reads Guinness World Records Until They Pass Out

Help! I Went To A Crazy MIT Party And Now I’m Stuck In The Metaverse

March 12, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Please, I'm begging you…. I don't know what the hell I smoked but now I'm trapped here. It’s just empty work spaces, framed NFTs, and some nerdy looking avatars talking about made up units called smoots! … [Read more...] about Help! I Went To A Crazy MIT Party And Now I’m Stuck In The Metaverse

Oh, You’re A Bruins Fan? Name 3 Charlestown Pubs You’re Banned From

March 2, 2022 by The Boston Accent

If you haven’t been kicked out of Warren Tavern after a night at TD Garden, do you even like Boston sports? … [Read more...] about Oh, You’re A Bruins Fan? Name 3 Charlestown Pubs You’re Banned From

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The Latest

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National

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May 17, 2022

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Recent

  • Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist May 17, 2022
  • Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams May 14, 2022
  • Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t May 14, 2022
  • With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips May 1, 2022

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