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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Culture

Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce

November 24, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Leaders of the constantly at war turkey gangs the Brookline Byrdz and the Cambridge Clucks announced this evening a historic Thanksgiving ceasefire to commemorate fallen turkey brothers and sisters, our on the ground reporters confirmed. “We’ve lost too many bad Byrdz to this so called ‘holiday’,” said leader OG Snoody Pecks. “Today, we will set our differences aside and … [Read more...] about Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

October 20, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

We Rank The Top Zero Happy Hours In Massachusetts

October 10, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Check out our DEFINITIVE list of the best happy hour spots in the Bay State! 1. All done. Enjoy living in a state that’s apparently still run by Puritans! … [Read more...] about We Rank The Top Zero Happy Hours In Massachusetts

‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It

October 5, 2021 by Rusty Epstein

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Chiming in almost instantaneously the moment the conversation turned to music, local late twenty-something Todd Goodwin confirmed that he did a cappella in college and, yes, would love to dive deeper into that topic. “Yeah, I was in the Tufts Beelzebubs — or the ‘Bubs,’ as we called it,” reported Goodwin to a crowd of completely uninterested acquaintances. … [Read more...] about ‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It

BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now

October 2, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Taking advantage of the first lull in traffic on Mass Ave in 5 minutes, Boston resident Dale Benoit decided just now he is going to cross the street, right this very second. “Fuck it, I’m going,” Benoit reportedly muttered as he power walked between a hybrid Rav 4 and a Prius, seemingly without warning. “I got places to be too.” At press time, the Prius driver was heard … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

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  • Brown University Study Finds American English And Warwick English No Longer Mutually Intelligible September 23, 2023
  • Environmentalists Warn Cape Cod Will Be 90% Mini Golf Courses By 2045 August 29, 2023
  • Nanas All Over New England Forced To File Bankruptcy After Visiting Christmas Tree Shop Liquidation Sale July 21, 2023
  • In Honor Of Pride Month, Mark Wahlberg Apologizes To Every Queer Person He Jumped In His Youth June 30, 2023

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