Taking advantage of the first lull in traffic on Mass Ave in 5 minutes, Boston resident Dale Benoit decided just now he is going to cross the street, right this very second. “Fuck it, I’m going,” Benoit reportedly muttered as he power walked between a hybrid Rav 4 and a Prius, seemingly without warning. “I got places to be too.” At press time, the Prius driver was heard … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now
Culture
Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch
Fall is officially here! This morning, a bus full of flatlander passengers doing nothing but looking out the window managed to miss the myriad warnings that their leaf peeping tour bus would not make the tight turns of Smugglers Notch. Thankfully, after only 5 hours the bus was freed and soon became the problem of New York State. The oblivious passengers were reportedly … [Read more...] about Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch
Local Terrier Named Goodest Boy In Boston
BOSTON—On Monday, Perfect Puppers magazine officially named local terrier Mr. Riggs the goodest boy in all of Boston. Though the competition was tough, the 14-pound terrier with a heart of solid gold beat out 235 other notable woofers, doggos, and chonky floofs across the city. By successfully completing a trifecta of flawless “stays,” “drop-its,” and “down-boys,” Mr. Riggs … [Read more...] about Local Terrier Named Goodest Boy In Boston
Gov. Baker Announces Boston’s Nonexistent Nightlife Can Finally Reopen
BOSTON—Slowly pumping his fist behind the podium, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Boston’s virtually nonexistent nightlife could finally reopen this weekend. “Over the past year, the late-night social scene of our capital city has been stunted by the pandemic. I’m excited to usher in a return to normalcy by opening all clubs and bars back to their former glory of … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Boston’s Nonexistent Nightlife Can Finally Reopen
Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29
Content warning: crude language BOSTON—In an official statement from Beacon Hill, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Massachusetts will host its first annual statewide bacchanalian sex carnival at 100% capacity on May 29. “I am pleased to inform the citizens of Massachusetts that, after a year of hardship, sacrifice, and diligence, they can rip off their masks with … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29