Salem, MA—Exasperated residents in the seaside town famous for its 1692 witch trials say they have given up on keeping ghoul-hungry tourists from barging into their private homes this Halloween season. “It is worse this year than ever,” said a Washington Square resident who wished to remain anonymous. “Tourists have been looking in my windows since July. They think my house … [Read more...] about Exhausted Salem Residents Give Up, Grant Tourists Free Entry Into All Homes
Culture
Shocker: Boston Guy With Adorable Whales On Belt Is Total Asshole
Local bartender Ashley Stevens was left utterly shocked this weekend when a man donning a salmon linen shirt, 9-inch inseam navy shorts, and a belt covered in downright adorable whales turned out to be a complete d-bag. “You’re too pretty to work here, you know that right?” said the cute-belted man, quickly covering his wedding ring with his other hand. “I’ll take two Blue … [Read more...] about Shocker: Boston Guy With Adorable Whales On Belt Is Total Asshole
‘Bring It On!’ Says Boston Resident Who Prepares For Snowstorm By Putting Shorts On
DORCHESTER—As the first major winter storm of the season approached, Boston resident Johnny “Buckets” Buckachowski was seen sitting on his front stoop in shorts, holding a large iced coffee and staring at the sky. “BRING IT ON!” said an ecstatic Buckets as he taunted the powers that be in tan cargo and bean boots, ready to fight off any dusting of snow that accumulates on … [Read more...] about ‘Bring It On!’ Says Boston Resident Who Prepares For Snowstorm By Putting Shorts On
Environmentalists Warn Cape Cod Will Be 90% Mini Golf Courses By 2045
ORLEANS, Mass. — A recent study has caused alarm in the scientific community after concluding that mini-golf courses on Cape Cod are expanding out of control. “There is a delicate balance between amusement areas and the rest of the environment, and changing one variable can have cascading consequences,” explained Leslie Cole, a professor of Environmental Studies at Tufts … [Read more...] about Environmentalists Warn Cape Cod Will Be 90% Mini Golf Courses By 2045
Local Orchard Teams Up With Dunkin To Offer First Ever Pick-Your-Own Pumpkin Spice Latte Patch
CANTON, MA — It’s a fall miracle! Dunkin fans from all over New England are flocking to Latt-e-dah Farms as the first ever PYO Pumpkin Spice Latte patch opened this week. Tristan Stills, of Stoughton, said he was happy he could go straight to the source instead of waiting in line down at the Dunkin drive-thru four blocks away. “For 3 months of the year, PSLs are my … [Read more...] about Local Orchard Teams Up With Dunkin To Offer First Ever Pick-Your-Own Pumpkin Spice Latte Patch