• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag

August 29, 2025 by Andrew Haskell Leave a Comment

While the decision on a new flag to represent Massachusetts will require 3 consultant-led focus groups, 6 more rounds of panel voting, and 2 expert task forces, a clear frontrunner has already emerged. “This flag captures everything we stand for in the Bay State: proactivity, progress, and awareness that there will be traffic,” said the flag’s designer. … [Read more...] about Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

BOSTON - A Google Maps blunder led to a historic first this past weekend as East Boston resident Charlie Riverdale was named the first ever non-tourist to ever step foot inside Quincy Market. “I was just trying to grab some lunch and my phone took me to a strange building surrounded by bucket drummers and tour guides dressed like John Hancock. The cheapest sandwich in there … [Read more...] about Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025 by Justin Avery Smith Leave a Comment

After decades of living in the shadow of its better-known neighbor Emerson College, Suffolk University is seeing record enrollment after fully embracing its status as the more affordable but  lower-quality offering by changing its name to “Temu Emerson”.  “We’re hoping that students of Temu Emerson, or Temuson for short, will no longer complain of being … [Read more...] about Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

Let’s hope they pull a secret one! … [Read more...] about Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025 by Zack Borst Leave a Comment

In a well attended ceremony on Friday, Eliot Tatelman cut off his signature white and gray ponytail as staff dumped a cooler of gatorade onto him. Thousands of onlookers cheered between bites of blueberry muffins as the ponytail was slowly lifted into the rafters at the flagship Jordan’s Furniture Store in Avon. Replicas will soon be added to rafters at every location. … [Read more...] about Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Frontrunner Emerges In Race For New Massachusetts Flag August 29, 2025
  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...