BOSTON — In a surprise discovery released on Friday, a team of Harvard scientists have revealed that the iconic Boston Cream, of cake and donut fame, is actually not cream at all. Rather, the white, sweet mousse is comprised entirely of fermented foam skimmed from the polluted Boston Harbor. Who knew?! “We found that every sample we collected, which came from 109 Dunkin’ … [Read more...] about Scientists Discover Boston Cream Actually Just Polluted Sea Foam From Harbor
City Of Boston Announces October 5 Will Be Celebrated Annually As Gerrit Cole Day
In a jubilant ceremony held on the Common, the City of Boston formally announced that October 5, the day the Sox won the AL EAst wildcard game, will hence force be celebrated as Gerrit Cole Day. “We are thrilled to honor our favorite Yankee of all time, Garrit Cole, for decades to come!” announced Mayor Kim Janey. “His unmatched ability to burn through our rival team’s … [Read more...] about City Of Boston Announces October 5 Will Be Celebrated Annually As Gerrit Cole Day
BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now
Taking advantage of the first lull in traffic on Mass Ave in 5 minutes, Boston resident Dale Benoit decided just now he is going to cross the street, right this very second. “Fuck it, I’m going,” Benoit reportedly muttered as he power walked between a hybrid Rav 4 and a Prius, seemingly without warning. “I got places to be too.” At press time, the Prius driver was heard … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Boston Man Crossing Road Right Here, Right Now
New Yorkers And New Englanders Agree: Connecticut Sucks
While people from New York and New England rarely find common ground, there is one area that unites the regions in mutual hatred: the state of Connecticut. “I would rather live in a dumpster than move to Hartford or Stamford, forget about it,” said Bronx resident Louis DeJulio. “I don’t even care if the fancy people there like the Yankees.” “I hear ya dude, we don’t claim … [Read more...] about New Yorkers And New Englanders Agree: Connecticut Sucks
Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch
Fall is officially here! This morning, a bus full of flatlander passengers doing nothing but looking out the window managed to miss the myriad warnings that their leaf peeping tour bus would not make the tight turns of Smugglers Notch. Thankfully, after only 5 hours the bus was freed and soon became the problem of New York State. The oblivious passengers were reportedly … [Read more...] about Vermont Welcomes First Signs Of Autumn As Bus Of Leaf Peepers Gets Stuck In Smugglers Notch